Acceptance
by SuperwholockShipper
Summary: Magic AU; Merlin is a suicidal teenager who, after a one night stand at a party with another guy, is taunted by his peers. Mainly one Arthur Pendragon. But they have a long forgotten past that will change everything. Includes but is not limited to: Merlin/Gwaine, Merlin/Arthur, Arthur/Gwen
1. Chapter 1: That One Night

Merlin was sick of Arthur`s shit. Every day, he would wake up and think _maybe today he`ll leave me alone. Maybe today he`ll just fuck off_. He never did, of course. Arthur Pendragon wasn`t the type to give up his toys. Even if his toys were 17 year old classmates who just wanted to sink into the background.

It hadn`t always been like this between them. Merlin used to sit next to Arthur in biology. They had been nice to each other. Merlin helped him with his homework and Arthur would smile at him in the corridor if they passed each other. That changed when they turned 15. A teacher had placed work sheet between them one day and as they both reached over to take one, their hands brushed against each other. It was slow, almost deliberate. Arthur looked him in the eye with something Merlin could not understand.

Arthur then stood up and walked out.

He didn`t come back for three days. Merlin couldn`t understand what had happened. So they had touched each other. Big deal. That didn`t explain Arthur`s reaction. When the blond boy finally returned, he didn`t sit next to Merlin. He didn`t speak to Merlin. He didn`t look at Merlin. That was the end of that. Until Gwaine, that is.

**One Year Previous**

Merlin didn`t normally go to parties. But it was Freya`s birthday and she insisted. Her parents were away for the weekend and she wanted to throw a huge 16th party in her very large house. Freya`s father worked for Pendragon ltd, Arthur`s father`s company. They were wealthy enough to afford the Palace, as Merlin called it. An orphan living with his Uncle Gaius, a doctor, Merlin`s two bedroom apartment was like a cardboard box in comparison to Freya`s house. And although she hated to huge, empty feeling that came along with so much so much space; it came in handy when she wanted to invite her whole year to a party.

A few beers and a shot into the night, Merlin was starting to enjoy himself. He let down his guard, danced with Freya, joked around with his best friend Will. Eventually some pretty blond girl dragged Will away and Merlin was left standing awkwardly. Then he saw him.

Swaggering into the room liker he owned it, Guinevere Angel on his arm, was a perfect specimen of a man. Muscular, long dark hair, just a hint of stubble. The alcohol made Merlin feel light-headed. Gwen was Arthur`s girlfriend, what was she doing with that guy?

"Merlin!" she called. Gwen had always liked Merlin, for some weird reason. She was popular beautiful, loved by all; the unofficial "queen" of Camelot. Yet she always found time to be nice to him, which was a blessing on the bad days. Sometimes Freya and Will couldn't be there for him and he needed a warm smile. "This is my cousin Gwaine. He's staying for the weekend." Merlin snapped back to reality. _Oh god, he's... he's... he's looking at __**me**__._

And he was. Staring right at Merlin with a smile that could melt ice. Oh god. _Stay calm. Stay calm_.

"Hi there, Merlin," said Gwaine. His voice was deep, velvety. _Scottish. Oh god, Merlin. Stop being such a girl._"I've heard a lot about you."

"I um, well... um, hi." Merlin winced at his pathetic stuttering. Gwaine's smile just seemed to widen. Merlin's whole body was buzzing.

"Well, I'm going to go find Arthur." Gwen seemed oblivious to the electricity between the two boys. "Try to be nice, Gwaine." With a wink, she walked away. Merlin felt like she had just punctured his lifeboat.

"So Merlin," said Gwaine moving closer to him, "this is a nice house isn't it?" Merlin could feel himself going weak at the knees. All he could do was nod. Gwaine came closer and closer, until finally he was right up against his ear and whispered something that made Merlin's heart beat out of his chest.

"Do you want to give me a tour of the bedrooms?"


	2. Chapter 2: The Guilty Party

**AN: Why hello there, dear reader. I`m not quite sure what I was expecting, but it was a surprise to find that any of you wanted to continue reading this here fanfiction. I makes me all warm inside to think someone cares about my fantasies of fictional characters having angsty sex. Only on the internet right?**

**A few things to note about this chapter**

**I have never written smut before, so bear with me. If there`s something I`m doing drastically wrong, please let me know**

**This is unbeta`d, so I apologise for my on spelling/grammar mistakes**

**There is a shift in POV in the story, can you guess to whose?**

**This is an M rated fic; THERE WILL BE LEMONS. Lots of M/M. Don`t like it, don`t read it.**

**Please review! I would love to hear what I`m doing wrong, what I`m doing write. If you have any ideas of suggestions for future chapters don' t hesitate.**

**That`s all folks, on with it fic!**

Merlin felt himself being led up there stairs. He was shaking. He had always know he was gay, it was something he had accepted, but he had never told _anyone_. Not Gaius, not Freya, not Will. Yet here was this huge, sexy, masterpiece of a man (_ok, that`s definitely the alcohol talking_, thought Merlin) who seemed to know with a glance. He had determined his sexuality without a second glance and he. Wanted. Him. Merlin, who had never even kissed a man, had caught the eye of a stranger who could have taken anyone in the house. He needed to calm down or this was not going to end well.

"So, Gwaine," said Merlin, desperately trying to sound blasé, like this was something he did every other night."Where are you from?"

"I`m Irish," replied Gwaine, wearing a cheeking grin that made Merlin`s head spin. _Irish? How couldn`t I tell? I really am shitfaced_.

They reached the guest room. Merlin made sure to pick a room he knew wasn`t lived in, the idea of doing something in Freya`s house was weird enough as it was. Gwaine closed the door slowly, deliberately. It was all Merlin could do not to hyperventilate.

Gwaine moved toward him, studying him intently. His grin was oozing sexiness, and in Merlin`s half gone state, he could feel himself hardening. He couldn`t control himself, it was all too much. Gwaine brought his hands to Merlin`s hips and leaned forward.

"Relax," he whispered. "Just trust me." Merlin obeyed without a second thought. Gwaine`s hands moved down to Merlin crotch, smiling at the hard-on Merlin was sporting. Merlin looked away, mortified, but let out a moan in surprise as he realised his trousers were open and there was a hand freeing him from his underwear. He barely had time to self scold his choice of pants when he felt a pair of soft lips close around him.

He gasped. This... this was beyond anything he had imagined. Gwaine was bobbing his head at a slow, torturously pleasurable pace. He was taking Merlin in whole without any bother. Merlin didn`t think he would last too long.

"Gwaine..." he rasped, barely able to contain himself. Another moan escaped his lips, this one hungry, desperate. This was too much. The way Gwaine was moving, the things he was doing with his tongue; he couldn`t handle it. "I`m going to.." His partner looked up at him, eyes full of lust, and it sent Merlin over the edge. Gwaine didn`t pull away, didn`t flinch, seemed to absorb Merlin`s orgasm with ease. Merlin collapsed back onto the bed.

"That... that was incredible." He looked up and saw Gwaine remove his shirt. _Good God he is ripped_. His chest as sculpted, perfect. But when he reached down and removed his trousers, Merlin could not even form coherent thought.

"Turn over," Gwaine demanded huskily, and Merlin jumped to it. He heard to sound of a bottle being popped open. "I`m going to get you ready for me. Do you understand, Merlin?" He nodded. He couldn`t speak. He couldn`t think. When he felt slick fingers enter him, he lost it.

"Gwaine!" He moaned; a deep, animalistic sound. It was so alien to Merlin that he barely even realised it was him.

"God, Merlin. So tight..." Gwaine was moving now, backward and forward, so slowing it was killing Merlin. He soon introduce a third finger, and when he finally decided his inexperienced partner was ready, he removed them. Merlin made a small, desperate noise at the loss, but was silenced when he felt something large enter.

"Ngh... Gwaine. **Gwaine**." He was panting, moaning, growling."Faster. Please Gwaine, faster!" Gwaine obliged, pounding against Merlin with such force it was a wonder he didn`t break the young man beneath him.

"Merlin. Oh Merlin!" Gwaine was fighting a losing battle, he could barely keep going. He rode Merlin, they were like dogs. So lost in bucking, the pounding, the moaning. Merlin was biting down on his arm, desperate to stop himself from screaming. Then Gwaine hit his prostate and all hell broke loose

Arthur`s POV

This party sucked. Sure, there as lots of space, pretty girls, free booze. He just wasn`t enjoying himself. Gwen was snuggled against his chest, but he wasn`t in the mood. The alcohol was clouding his brain and suddenly he found himself thinking about Merlin. He hadn`t spoken to him in a long time. Not since the day their hands had brushed against each other. He knew he was being an idiot, but he just couldn`t talk to the boy again. The electricity that he had felt from that single touch scared him. In that second, he had wanted Merlin. Him, Arthur Pendragon, ladies man extraordinare and boyfriend to the best looking (not to mention kindest, sweetest, and most wanted) girl in Camelot Secondary; yet he found himself lusting to reach out to Merlin, to touch him, to hold him, to fuck him against a wall. And if there was one thing Arthur was not, it was gay. Arthur Pendragon **was not gay**.

So he avoided him. He figure if he avoided Merlin, what he felt would go away. It seemed to be working, but it was times like this where Arthur wished he could do _something_. Gwen began nuzzling at his neck, and it was the he pushed her away. She looked hurt.

"I`m sorry babe. I just.. I need to go to the bathroom." He expression shifted to understanding.

"It`s upstairs. Hurry back." She winked and walked off, trying to find that weird cousin of hers. Arthur stumbled up the marble steps. The grandeur didn`t face him, it still wasn`t much in comparison to his place. He navigated the upper floor, looking for a bathroom, when suddenly he heard a faint noise. The further down the hall he walked, the louder the noise became. It took him a few seconds to recognise the sound. Someone as having sex.

A drunken grin spread over his face and removed his iPhone from his jeans. There was nothing he loved more than mortifying some sod with pictures of him getting it on the next day. He wondered if the couple had been smart enough to lock the door. He felt the handle. _Nope_. His grin widened and he stopped to listen, trying to determine the identity of the guilty party.

"Oh Gwaine! GWAINE!" Arthur could hear screaming, muffled by the thick door. His eyes widened. Gwaine, Gwen`s cousin. Just when he thought it couldn`t get any better. He couldn`t recognise the other voice.

This was it. Camera at the reading, he opened the door, slowly and silently. The camera made n shutter sounds as it snapped away while Arthur tried to focus on the couple. _Oh fuck_.

It was two guys.

One was clearly Gwaine Angel. _So Mr Tough-Guy swings the other way. Who woulda thunk it_. So who was the other one. Arthur struggled to catch a glimpse of the boys face; but when he did, his heart stopped.

_Merlin_.

Arthur ran. He ran fast.

Merlin`s POV

He collapsed onto the bed, utterly spent. His body was aching, but it was a nice ache. He`d be walking funny tomorrow, that was for sure. Gwaine lay down next to him, a blissful smile spreading over his face.

"You," he breathed at Merlin, "are amazing. Don`t let anyone tell you otherwise. One of the best shags of my life." Merlin was shocked. _Me? Amazing?_

"Gwaine? Where are you buddy?" Merlin groaned. _Gwen_.

"I`m busy, I`ll be down in a minute!"

"Well hurry up! Arthur wants to go home and he`s our lift."

"Five minutes!" He turned to face Merlin. "This is where it ends, I guess." Merlin`s pained expression was glaringly obvious.

"Will I get to see you again?" Gwaine`s smile was sad.

"I`m leaving tomorrow. I doubt it." He reached out and touched Merlin`s face. "Think of me as a stepping stone, ok? Go out, find someone. I`ve just gotten you started. I won`t forget you Merlin, I promise." And with that, the Greek God who had taken Merlin`s virginity was gone. He never did see him again.

**AN; Woooo! That was fun for me. Was it fun for you? I hope so. The next chapter will open still in this flashback, but we`ll be back in the present soon. Don`t worry, lots of angst and heartbreak to come. You know the drill, follow/favourite/review/all that jazz. Until next time, my dirty minded children!**


	3. Chapter 3: Dirty Faggot

**AN: Well hello again. Yes, it is I. I come with great tidings! A new chapter for all to read! Huzzah! Gods be praised!**

**It`s not all good news I`m afraid. I fear there may not be more chapter for a while *gasp* Here`s the deal, next week I will HOPEFULLY have more smutty goodness for you all, but it is unbeknownst to me at this current point in time. The following week however, there will definitely be no chapter. But, here is the beauty, the week after I will work my pretty little ass off to bring you THREE WHOLE CHAPTERS. I know, I know, it`s exciting. If I do not produce them, feel free to send me horrible messages, I won`t mind. Are we all on the same page? Good.**

**As per usual, this is an M rated fic. Don't like it, don't read it. It has come to my attention that I have not told that I do not in fact own any of the characters in this story. Blah blah legal bullshit that you've all heard a million times.**

**This chapter opens in the present day, in Arthur`s POV. Are we sitting comfortably? Then I`ll begin.**

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Arthur Pendragon awoke as the he did every morning, with a fake smile plastered across his face. _Today will be a good day_. That`s what he always tells himself as he gets dressed. _Today will be a good day_, as the eats breakfast with Uthur and Morgana. _Today will be a good day_, as he styles his hair and heads out to meet Gwen. _Today will be a good day_, as he kisses his beautiful girlfriend and tries to so desperately to feel something.

He`s been doing this for a year and he`s still not convinced.

Mordred was waiting for them at the gate. He had his hands around Nimueh's waist, and a smug smile on his lips. Obviously he was getting stuck in there.

"Arthur! Hurry up, mate!" Arthur was confused. Since when was Mordred in a hurry to get to class?

"For what? It's just English."

"I know, but Merlin's in our class and I want to fuck with him for a bit before the teach gets here." Gwen scowled.

"I wish you two wouldn't be so mean to Merlin. He hasn't done anything wrong. Can't you just leave him be?" Arthur wished he could. But if he did, he would be admitting he cared about Merlin. And he didn't. The boy was a dirty faggot, he deserved to be tormented. Arthur didn't like him. Arthur didn't have feelings for him. Arthur didn't want to reach out and run his finger along _those fucking cheekbones_... No. Arthur hated him. He had hated him since that stupid fucking party.

**One Year Previous**

Arthur didn't know what to do. He paced about his room, trying to calm his thoughts. _I saw him. I saw him with Gwaine. I saw him having sex. I heard him moan, pant, scream. And I took pictures. I photographed two guys having sex. What the hell do I do now?_

He hadn't looked at those pictures from the night before. He was afraid too. He was terrified that he might like what he saw. _No. I`m not gay. I`m not a fucking faggot. My father raised me right. Uthur Pendragon would never raise a gay son. I`m not gay_. But he had to look. He had to. Just a peak.

He knew it was a mistake the second he laid eyes on it. The last picture he took was of Merlin's face as he reached climax. His eyes closed, his mouth open in ecstasy. Arthur could almost hear him. Could almost taste him.

_"Arthur! Oh... oh... ! HOLY SHIT ARTHUR. I`m nearly there. Oh my God, ngh, ARTHUR!"_

Arthur had slid down into his boxers. He pulled them down with the other hand, palming himself as he went. Merlin's imaginary moans were making pre-come leak from him as he began to pump his cock furiously.

_"Arthur baby, oh Arthur I'm going to... going to..."_ He couldn't control himself. He was tipping over the edge. Memories were mixing with fantasies as he stroked himself violently, desperately, imagining Merlin's tight ass around him. He imagined hitting Merlin's prostate, the noises he would make, how he would buck his hips against him in a way Gwen never did.

"Come for me Merlin," he whispered hoarsely. "Come for me..."

_"Yes yes oh yes ARTHUR!"_ He was coming, he was coming for him and **only him**. _"ARTHUUUUUR!"_

Arthur collapsed onto the bed, spent and sobbing. _What is happening to me?_

The next day, the tormenting started.

Merlin's POV

Merlin was happy. Really happy. He looked at himself in the mirror, surprised by the change he saw. His face was slightly flushed, his eyes more alert, and he was happy. _Wow, all this from sex? I should do that more often_. Chuckling to himself, he left the house, fully ready to face the day. Sure, school wasn't great (it wasn't like he had many friends) but people were civil to him. That was enough for now. Unfortunately, this was the day that changed.

It started fairly innocently. Something hit him as he walked through the gate; an empty water bottle. _Well that was weird_. He looked around but no one seemed to be paying attention to him. _Must have been a mistake_. He kept walking.

He couldn't find Will and Freya. He had a study period first thing and they normally sat together, finishing up any homework they had neglected to do. He stood around for about ten minutes, eventually deciding to head off alone. They must have been busy doing something (_each other_, he joked to himself). He sat in the rec room, spread his books out on the table and finished his maths homework. It was unusually quiet in there. No one was chatting away, no one had music playing, no couple were eating the faces off each other. In fact everyone seemed to focused on... him. He looked up, startled to find that everyone in the room was looking right at him. Staring at him. Then they started whispering.

He couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was a bitter, cold sound; the sound of rumors, sneers, half-truths and downright lies. Whatever they thought he'd done, it wasn't positive. He could feel his face flushing scarlet, eventually becoming so uncomfortable he had to leave. Someone tripped him as he moved towards the door. He didn't turn to see who.

The corridors were populated, and he got no better treatment there then he had in the room. People were looking at him, leering at him, and they weren't a quiet here. He could here snatches of what they said now.

"Homo... dirty queer... faggot... faggot... faggot."

Merlin felt himself paling and his clutch on his books tightened. _How the hell do they know_? He had never told anyone. Unless Gwaine... _No, Gwaine wouldn't do that. Would he?_ Merlin honestly didn't know. That's when Will and Freya came running around the corner carrying piles of crumpled paper.

"Merlin! Bathroom, now!" Freya grabbed him and swung him through the door into the thankfully empty men's room. Will slammed the door shut and they both turned to Merlin; their eyes wide and confused.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Freya looked hurt, almost accusing.

"Tell you what?" Merlin tried to keep his composure, but he could feel his hard exterior crumbling away. They knew. Everyone knew. His life was over.

"Merlin, it's ok. We're your friends, we're here for you. But," Will bit his lip, "I can't say the same for everyone else." Merlin could barely hold back his tears.

"How... how did you find out?" His friends glanced at each other. Frowning sadly, Freya handed him one of the papers they were both carrying. Gingerly, Merlin held it in his shaking hands. It was a flyer. Now that he looked properly, he could see they were carrying dozens of them. Whatever they were, they must have been posted all around the school. Then he looked. He really looked. It was a photograph, a photograph of... of him and Gwaine. _No no no this isn't happening_. It was them. Together. Having sex. **Someone took pictures of them having sex**. It was captioned too, big red letters.

**DIRTY FAGGOT**.

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**AN: Tha tha tha tha that's all folks! I hope you liked it. I apologize to any guys who are annoyed at my inability to write male masturbation scenes; I'm a teenage girl, what do you expect. As always, follow/fav/review/love me/comfort me/let me sacrifice you to satan/etc. Love you all, until we meet again mes amis!**


	4. Chapter 4: You Did This

**AN: We meet again, my dearest readers. It is Sunday, it is late, but I promised a chapter and I shall deliver. Anything for you lot. This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful Tumblr followers who put up with my endless photosets of Misha Collins' beautiful face (they love it, I know they do). On a side note, anyone watching Supernatural at the mo? If Dean doesn't rip Naomi's lungs out, I will. Chapter opens present day, Merlin's POV. Enjoy!**

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Merlin walked to school like he always did, head down and mouth shut. When they hit him, he didn't look. When they taunted him, he didn't talk back. He just walked. He knew if he got into class, he would have an hour's peace. Another hour in the class after that. The walking was the problem. The journeying between hours. The students who only stepped back when a teacher was around. Arthur.

When he arrived at Camelot Secondary, he groaned inwardly. He had miscalculated his walking speed, he was 5 minutes early. 5 whole minutes. And look who was walking straight towards him, eyes shining darkly as they spied their prey.

"Darling! Fancy seeing you here," called Mordredd, voice dripping in poisoned honey."How the arse, still hurt? Bet you took a real banging last night." This was his favourite game. Talk about Merlin's non-existent sex life. Talk about the men he'd... serviced. Merlin hadn't been with anyone since Gwaine. That didn't stop Mordredd. "How much did you charge him? I'm sure you made a fair profit outside a face like that." He got painfully close to Merlin's face. "Did you moan for him, Pretty-Face? Did you squeel when he pounded your tight, faggoty arse?" His breath was warm and suffocating on Merlin's face. He looked past Mordredd's shoulder. He could see Arthur Pendragon, the man himself, staring at him. The bastard dared to look at him with pity. You started this, you fucking monster. You started this.

Arthur's POV

He watched as his friend whispered into Merlin's large ear. Those beautiful ears, blushing red with shame. He met his eyes, wishing he had the courage to help him, the power to makes things right. Merlin looked straight back, his eyes accusing. Those eyes were old, pained, eyes had seen suffering beyond Arthur's belief. _And it's all my fault_.

**One Year Earlier**

He didn't mean for it happen. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't made the posters. He hadn't spread them around. He had just taken the photo. That lousy fucking photo. He never should have shown it to Mordredd. Mordredd shouldn't have downloaded it. It was Mordredd's fault. _Not mine_.

"Dirty faggot..."

"Whore..."

"Queer..."

Arthur could hear them talk when Merlin walked past. He could see the hurt. He wanted to help. He wanted to comfort him. But he couldn't. He was Arthur Pendragon. He had his image, nothing else.

That was why he let his friends say such awful things. That was why he laughed when Merlin fell in the corridor. That was why he inched away from him in bio, looked him in the eye and whispered "faggot"

**Present**

Everyday, Arthur continued to torment the boy he lusted for. That beautiful, broken boy. He said called him everything wanted to say to himself. The things he knew his father would say. Arthur Pendragon gave up believing he was straight. He hated himself more than anything, but taking it out on Merlin was the easiest thing to do.

Merlin's POV

_I hate him. I hate him. I hate him_. If he said it enough, he might believe it. This was the boy who had spied on him and Gwaine. Who had spread his sexuality around the school. Who called him such terrible things and probably enjoyed it. Who drove Merlin to slashing his wrists and drinking bleach. But Death didn't seem to want Merlin, oh no; Death wanted Merlin to suffer. Slowly. Painfully. He wasn't getting a quick, sweet release. This was his life now. A broken, hated, dirty because of Arthur Fucking Pendragon. The golden boy of Camelot. The most handsome, evil bastard to ever trample on Merlin's sorry little life. _So why don't I hate him_?

The day dragged on, Merlin growing numb to the hateful words of his peers. Eventually he reached his home, his sanctuary. The only place they could never hurt him, with only fictional characters and Tumblr followers for company.

He got out his laptop and logged into his blog. He smiled softly. Here he was appreciated. They didn't know his name, where he lived, what had happened with Gwaine. They loved him. He loved them. The wasn't alone online.

Slowly, savoring ever second, he began to scroll down his dash. It was a mixture of dark, suicidal posts and various fandoms. No one could shut up about the latest episode of Supernatural (God he hated Naomi) or the return of Doctor Who (a week, only a week!). He loved this feeling, only being upset about little things; like MCR breaking up or how long it was taking for Sherlock Series 3 to be ready. He could forget about his problems, about his scars, about Arthur. If he needed someone to talk to, one of his 2000 followers were there to help, to soothe, to remind him it would get better some day. Some of them had scars too, they had been where he was. They didn't care that he was broken. All that mattered was they were there to fix him. very night they nearly succeeded; every day Camelot Secondary dragged him back down. The front door opened, Gauis was back from the clinic.

"Merlin, my boy. We need to talk." Merlin shut his laptop and looked fondly at the old man. He knew Merlin was being bullied, but the extent of it was hidden from him. Merlin didn't want him to get involved.

"Yes Gauis?"

"I have excellent news regarding the school situation." Merlin sat up. Excellent new?

"What is it Gauis?"

"I have been attempting to get you a place for several months now, but you've finally made it to the top of the list. You, my boy," said Gauis proudly, "are going to Camelot Private." Camelot Private was a huge, academic school on the outskirts of the city. You went if you were rich or extremely clever, neither of which Merlin considered himself to be.

"How on earth did you manage to get me a place?" Gaius just laughed.

"Never mind that my boy! You're going to get a proper education. I'm not going to let that school drag you down." He gently touched Merlin's face. "You're special, my boy. You just need to realise it."

Arthur's POV

Uthur sat him down at the table. His father was never usually home at this time, and good Lord was it worrying Arthur. Something was wrong.

"We need to talk."

"Yes father?"

"I have news regarding your current educational situation." Situation? What situation?

"I beg your pardon, father?"

"I have acquired a place for you in Camelot Private. You will begin after the Easter holidays." Camelot Private? Fuck. That was one of those schools where you actually had to work. Not Arthur's style.

"But um, I like Camelot Secondary... Do I have to g-" He was silenced by his father's dark look.

"You are not going to that school any longer. You have come of age, and when Pendragon men come of age they go to Camelot Private. The only reason you have not been sent sooner is because of their new blasted entrance system which gives commoners," he spat the word, "the same entitlement as families with long standing connections. Now, I believe Nora has prepared supper. Off you go."

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AN: Aaaaaaand we're done! IMPORTANT QUESTION: am seriously considering including magic to this fic, but only if no one has any major objects. So tell me, dearest reader, magic or no magic? The choice is yours, choose wisely. As always, fav/follow/review/DFTBA/always-look-on-the-briiiiiiiiiiight-side-of-life


	5. Chapter 5: Goodbyes and Hello Agains

**AN: And she has returned! I do apologies for any delays with the publishing of this chapter, I had a Destiel OneShot that kicked and screamed and DEMANDED to be written. It's called Cas' First Popsicle, read it if you're awesome. On with the chapter, my filthy-minded friends.**

**(PS) the topic of magic will be discussed at the end of the chapter**

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Merlin last week at Camelot Secondary flew by. Sunday came in the blink of an eye, his bags were packed and he sat in his room with his best friends. While yes, he was sad to be leaving Will and Freya, this was exactly what he needed. A fresh start, somewhere he could be Merlin; not Gay-Boy, not Dick-Slut, not a dirty faggot. Somewhere away from Arthur. He couldn`t be happier, he could almost ignore the small pang of loss me felt a being away from_... no. Stop it, Merlin. He`s a bastard. He ruined your life. You hate him, remember_?

"I can`t believe Gaius managed to get you a place!" squealed Freya once again. While hated that she would only ever see her best friend at the weekends (students would board at Camelot Private Monday through Friday), she knew this was his chance to fix himself. He needed this, he needed to escape while he could. And at least she still had Will.

"You better not come back a stuck up prat." Will had mixed feeling about losing Merlin, his childhood friend. He`d been so happy when Freya had refused to transfer a year earlier, but he knew Merlin didn`t have that option. This school was killing him, he wouldn't last much longer.

"I won`t, Will. I`m not leaving forever, I`ll be back on Friday." Merlin punched his friend playfully. "Back in time to watch The Cold War." Will`s eyes lit up.

"You better be. I can`t watch it without you." He paused, the put a hand on his friends shoulder. "You look after yourself, you here me?" he said gently. Merlin met his gaze and nodded.

"Merlin!" Gaius shouted up the stairs. "You have an early start tomorrow, you might want to get some sleep." Will and Freya stood up, understanding that it was time to go. Exchanging hugs, they promised to drop by on Saturday to spend the day with him. They closed the door gently and Merlin was alone.

Arthur`s POV

Gwen sat on his bed, beautiful as always. _I love her_, Arthur chanted to himself_. I love her. I want to be with her. I think of her when we have sex_. It wasn`t working.

"I can`t believe you`re leaving me." Gwen joked, deep down she was hurting. She knew how handsome her boyfriend was, girls would be drawn to him like flies. He had her claim staked in Camelot Secondary, no one would dare touch him. But now he would be surrounded by pretty rich girls and lately Arthur had been distant. "You better not find some blond brainiac at your new toff school." Arthur nodded, barely there.

"You know I would never even think of it." _Liar liar liar_.

"Well," she said, leaning forward suggestively. "What do you say we make your last night a good one?"

Arthur took her clothes off almost robotically. _This isn`t right. She doesn`t deserve this_. But he needed release. Gwen decided to let him take her from behind, because the was leaving. Maybe this would keep him thinking of her. Arthur hid the truth. He fact that was just a warm body he needed to thrust into, an ass and a back.

_Not Merlin_ as he unbuckled his belt. _Not Merlin_ as he put on a condom. Not Merlin as he slicked the both up. _Not Merlin_ as he pumped dispassionately into his girlfriend_. Not Merlin_ as she moaned, the sound no longer arousing him.

_Merlin_ as his vision went white, the lie the only thing that could make him climax.

Merlin`s POV

The building was huge. It had been built up from the remains of a medieval castle, and you could tell. The place still had an air of royalty, of grandeur. He suddenly felt very small and very poor. Maybe this isn`t such a good idea. I won`t fit in here, what was I thinking? I don`t fit in anywhere. He internal panic attack was interrupted by a teacher.

"You must be Merlin! Welcome to Camelot Private. I`m professor Kilgharrah, I'll be showing you around." Merlin relaxed. it was fine, it would all be fine. He just needed to focus on not being weird.

"Nice to meet you sir."

"And yourself, my boy. I'm sure you'll fit right in here. On with the tour!"

Arthur's POV

Arthur desperately tried to maintain his old swagger while he broke down inside. He was alone here. He knew no one, for once he wasn't surrounded by adoring followers. Gwen was gone, Mordredd was gone, Merlin was gone. _What do you mean Merlin's gone, Merlin was never your friend. You ruined his life and he hates you, all because you're so far in the closet you can't see a way out. You fuck everything up. You're pathetic. A lonely, pathetic faggot who tries so desperately to please daddy and winds up masturbating to someone who probably wishes you were dead. You're a worthless peace of shit, Arthur Pendragon. Fucking worthless._

"There you are!" A teacher was running towards him. Arthur groaned inwardly. _Brilliant, a tour of the grounds. Just what I need_. "The other new pupil has arrived, so we'll start the tour of the grounds." Said other student stepped out from behind him and Arthur's heart stopped.

Merlin's POV

_No. No. NO. Not now. Not again._

_(Don't pretend your not happy to see him. You're a fucking whore, Merlin. Face it.)_

_Not him. Anyone but him._

_(Isn't he gorgeous, faggot? Hasn't he got the face of a fucking angel?)_

_This is not happening._

_(Oh it is. You want him to grab you and fuck you senseless against a wall. You want him. You need him. And you fucking hate it.)_

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**AN: I swear you will be the death of me. I got exactly equal votes for and against magic. Come on people. I've left this chapter open ended, and this time I want a victor. If democracy fails, the fate of the fic will be determined by a coin toss. The choice is your's, dear reader. Choose well.**

**Don't forget, at least 3 chapters this week! Feel free to send me death threats if I fail you. Do all the usual stuff, you know the drill by now. *hugz***


	6. Chapter 6: Old Legends

**AN: What light through yonder new chapter breaks? Magic, that's what! I'm sorry to all those who voted against it. But fear not; this fic is about the relationship between Merlin and Arthur, the magic is just a catalyst. Forgive me?**

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Arthur tried to stay calm. He really did. But he was losing his cool faster and faster every second. He barely took in his surrounding as Professor whatever-his-name-was showed them around the godforsaken school. _Why is he here? Why am I here? I just want to go home_. They were eventually led into the Mess Hall and Arthur`s brain stopped whirling. His breath caught in his throat. The wall at the end of the room was centred by the biggest stained glass window he had ever seen. The colours were so vivid, so beautiful. It depicted a man, who was bleeding gold light, dying on the ground while another man stood over him, arms outstretched towards a shadow with a sword in its hands. The dying man clung to the other man, who was thinner yet seemed to emanate power. His eyes were the same colour as the dying man`s blood, and his anger was so real that Arthur almost took a step back. He glanced over at Merlin, who gazed at the window, equally as transfixed. He turned to the professor.

"What is this?" The old man smiled ever so slightly; a knowing smile, a secretive smile.

"This is the Protector's final moments." Merlin titled his head, confused.

"The Protector?"

"You are not familiar with the legend?" the professor laughed. "Very well. It is said there is a family as old as Camelot itself, who are destined to protect it for all time. When a threat arises, the eldest son rises up to vanquish it. But the day came when an evil being plotted to take control of Camelot who was so strong the Protector could not beat it. He feel in combat, but his manservant killed the beast as his master lay dying, saving the realm." Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"And how did the manservant kill it when the Protector couldn`t? That doesn`t make sense."

"The manservant, my boy, was no ordinary mortal. He is remembered as the greatest sorcerer of all time, magic so powerful he succeeded where the Protector had failed. But all the magic on earth could not save his master. It is said he wandered the earth for centuries, eventually opening this school." Merlin looked at the old man sceptically.

"You`re saying an ancient wizard founded this school."

"Sorcerer my boy, and it is only a legend. It also is said, however, that the school will close the way it started. Though we have long forgotten his name, the Protector will rise up to defend Camelot once again, his sorcerer at his side, ending the family curse at last."

"Curse?"

"The Protector`s family still sires son in preparation for the coming day. Can you imagine it, knowing that at any moment your son could be sent away to fight an evil that could kill him? It is a curse my boy." Arthur shrugged guiltily.

"I guess when you put it like that..." Suddenly Merlin spoke up.

"Wait, you said his sorcerer." The professor smiled again.

"Ah yes. It is generally assumed that the servant and his master were... close, so to speak." Merlin blushed, his ears turning pink. _Fuck he`s adorable_. "Now if that`s all, I`ll show you to your dorm." Arthur sighed in relief, but froze when the full meaning of the sentence hit him. Dorm. Singular. _Fuck_.

Merlin`s POV

Professor Kilgharrah led them into a medium sized room with two single beds. They were precariously close together. _Shit shit shit_. This was getting worse and worse. He couldn't do this. He couldn't sleep that close to Arthur. _What the hell am I going to do_?

"Merlin?" He spung around to face the professor. He smiled ever so slightly at the boy, almost like he knew something. "Are you alright." Merlin looked at him for a few seconds before answering.

"No, no. I'm... fine." _There's something weird about this guy. Don't get involved. Just mind your own business. Just calm down_. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Arthur eying the beds and he groaned internally. The last thing needed was Arthur raging about sharing a room with a "faggot". He held his breath, waiting, but the golden-haired boy said nothing. He just stared and stared at the bed with an emotion that Merlin couldn't place. It wasn't disgust, it wasn't anger or sadness, it... _no. It's not that. That's just your slutty brain wishing and wanting for something you will never, ever get. Look at you, you're crazy. You think that Arthur Pendragon is even slightly interested in you? You're sick, a sick faggot. This place won't be any different to Camelot Secondary. You were useless there and you're useless here. Useless useless useless_.

"Merlin!" Once again the old man cut through Merlin's thoughts like he could read them. "Your bags are here. I'll leave you both too it. Supper is at six in the Mess Hall." With that, he was gone, and Merlin was alone with Arthur. _Fuck_.

Arthur's POV

Their bed's were so close together. So very close together. It was practically a double bed. _I am so screwed_. The two boys didn't speak, didn't look at each other. It was painfully awkward. Arthur was terrified of slipping up, of blurting something out, of hurting Merlin again. He had done enough already. Maybe if they lived together long enough Merlin would forget about the terrible, terrible things he had said and done. _Dream on, fuck-up. Stop thinking with your dick_. Merlin had already begun unpacking his stuff and Arthur turned away. The dark-haired boy bending over was the last thing he needed to see, considering he might as well have been sharing a bed with him later. _Stop it stop it stop it_. Arthur emptied his suitcase into the cupboard on his side of the room. He wasn't in the mood to organise his shit. He would be going home for the weekend anyway. He prayed for 6 o'clock to come sooner.

Merlin's POV

Eventually they made their way back to the Mess Hall, trying so hard not to make eye contact. They were both nervous, you could feel it in the air. They were alone in this new school, only each other for company. And that did not sound like the best of situations, considering their unfortunate history. Merlin needed a friend, and he needed one fast.

Upon entering the Mess Hall, the two boys were once again greeted by Professor Kilgharrah, who split them up and escorted them to separate tables. Arthur was led to a table of bulky-looking athletes; while Merlin found himself at a smaller quieter table. Five pairs of eyes looked up at him, and all of them seemed friendly. A boy with bright eyes stood up to greet him.

"You must be Merlin! I'm Lancelot." The boy stopped to gesture at each other member present in turn. "This is Alice, Cenred and Elena. Welcome to Camelot Private." Merlin sat down shyly, smiling as he memorised the faces before him. He didn't want to slip up and forget someone's name. They all smiled back, and Merlin calmed himself. _It'll be fine. Just relax. It'll be fine_.

"Son Merlin," began one boy. _Cenred_. "Have you got your timetable?" Merlin fumbled as he searched for the folded piece of paper in his pocket.

"Yeah, right here." Cenred looked down at it, a wicked smile slowly spreading across his face. He looked over at Alice triumphantly.

"Advanced Sociology." Alice beamed at Merlin, while Lancelot groaned.

"So your one of those then, are ya Merlin?"

"One of what?" Merlin was confused, what did Sociology have to do with anything?

"The problem children. The ones with 'troubled backgrounds'" Lancelot rolled his eyes. "The send you lot to Advanced Sociology with Kilgharrah so you can learn to trust people." Merlin looked at Cenred.

"So... you're in the class?" The other boy grinned at him.

"Yup! Me, Alice," he nudged the girl beside him. "Nimeuh and Morgana." He gestured to two girls surrounded by a sea of what Merlin could only assume were followers. He glanced back at Cenred.

"You the only boy?" The long-haired boy nodded grimly.

"It's a hard life, brah. That's what you get for burning your old school down I suppose." Merlin's eyes widened. "Don't worry, there was no one in it."

"Never mind him," scolded Elena. She smiled at Merlin, obviously enthusiastic about his arrival. "Where are you from, Merlin?"

"I'm from Ealdor, but I've lived in Camelot since I was five. My mum died in a car crash. I live with my uncle Gaius." Leon raised his eyebrow.

"So, you've come from Camelot Secondary, I presume." Merlin nodded. "Bunch of cunts, that lot. I assume they're reason Kilgharrah needs to sort you out." Merlin shrugged, not wanting to talk about his old school. The past was behind him now.

"Well," said Cenred, "Sociology is on Mondays, so you just missed it. But I guess next week will be... interesting." The grin was back. Merlin hoped that was a good thing.

Arthur's POV

Arthur found himself being steered away from Merlin and towards a large, round table. Around it sat four strong looking boys, spread out so they all had equal space. They were laughing at something when the professor left him at the table, but they stopped when they noticed him and all stood up to greet him. A boy with curly hair and chain mail-patterned tshirt spoke first.

"You must be Arthur. I am Leon." The boy looked genuinely happy to see him, which Arthur found strangely satisfying. No one had actually looked happy to see him in a long time. "These are my boys; Elyan, Percival and Valiant. Welcome to the castle." They shifted to make space for him, and he felt welcomed. Elyan was the first to speak.

"So, I heard your a Secondary kid, eh?" Arthur wasn't quite sure how to respond, so he just shrugged. Valiant sat forward.

"Listen up, Arthur. We don't know you, so we won't judge you; but we know what Secondary is like, so if you try and bring any of that shit here you'll have us to deal with." His eyes were alight with protectiveness, he obviously cared about this school. Percival nodded in agreement. "Understand?"

"I get it." The atmosphere immediately relaxed again. Leon smiled at him and began the usual routine.

"So what bring you here?"

"My dad transferred me. He's being trying to get me place for years, but apparently the new entrance system made it really difficult for a place to open up."

"You play any sports?" Arthur smiled.

"Yeah, football. Team captain of the Camelot Lions." Elyan's face lit up.

"You any interest in joining us Knights? We could use some fresh blood."

"Course, man! Glad to help." Valiant was gazing across the room.

"So who's your bunk-mate? Friend of yours?" Arthur shook his head.

"Just... someone I know from school."

"Well, he gay?" Arthur froze.

"Wh- why?" Valiant laughed.

"Cause Cenred's got his eye on him." He spung around to where Valiant was facing and held back a growl as he caught sight "Cenred", a good-looking boy who was staring at Merlin, his Merlin, with a look that made Arthur want to rip his throat out. The he caught himself. _What the fuck is wrong with you? since when is Merlin yours? You're pathetic_.

"You ok, bro?" Percival's voice yanked him back to reality. He turned away from Merlin's table, praying for the week to be over fast.

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**AN: Wooo! Am feeling good about the way this is going. Don't worry, no ACTUALLY magic for a while. Be patient, you grasshopper. But, while you're waiting, would you mind following/favourit- I'm sorry. You know what to do. I won't pander, make your own decisions baby.**


	7. Chapter 7: Lustful Haze

Merlin was enjoying himself more than he had in a long time. Everyone at the table seemed genuinely happy to be there. They asked him about his old school, understanding when he wasn`t comfortable telling them every detail. Elena asked if he had a girlfriend. Blushing, he shook his head.

"Boyfriend, then?" Merlin froze and Cenred laughed.

"I called it. You owe me two pounds, Alice." Merlin was so mortified he didn`t stop to think about how Cenred and Alice had barely spoken to each other since his arrival, let alone placed bets. He was too distracted by the eminent harassment he knew all too well was headed for him. But it didn`t come; Elena just smiled, Lancelot shrugged and Alice playfully punched Cenred.

"So... none of you mind?"

"You being gay or you having a boyfriend?"

"I don`t... I don`t have a boyfriend."

"Of course we don't mind," said Lancelot. "Would we be hanging around with this nutter if we did?" He gestured to Cenred.

"You`re-"

"Gay as a picnic basket? I am indeed." He pointed at Morgause, in the Sociology class. "I think she drove me from woman all together." Alice laughed.

"And you drove her from men! I heard she`s dating that Pendragon chick." The mention of Arthur`s sister was like a slap to the face, Merlin remembered the golden-haired boy who would be staying with him every week. He groaned softly, no one noticed.

"Her brother just transferred, yeah?" Lance nodded. "Bet he`s a right prat." Cenred turned to face Merlin. "You bunking with him?" He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "You poor sap. The Pendragons have been sending their spawn here for years, their generally acknowledged as the Ruling Cunts. Through the model boys seem to have taken him under their wings." Merlin looked across at the table in question, Arthur was laughing at something the dark-skinned boy next to him was saying. His heart panged at the sight of him. He turned away, hoping he no one had noticed. No such luck; he met Alice`s eyes and her look was all-knowing. _Well fuck_.

The Mess Hall began to empty around half 7, Merlin found himself following his newfound friends to Cenred and Lancelot`s room. With a wicked grin, Cenred rooted around in under his bed a took out a bag of suspicious-looking tobacco.

"It`s a welcoming present," he explained as he tossed the packet towards Merlin. Alice looked at him disapprovingly, but Lancelot`s face split into a grin.

"Man, you`ve got to try that stuff. Looney here grows it, it`s mental."

"What is it?" Cenred looked like a proud parent about to present his child.

"It`s my own personal creation, basically modified spliff." Lancelot slapped him on the back.

"He won`t tell anyone how he does it and he sell it like it`s gold, the bastard." Merlin was curious, he had smoked weed before but nothing like this. This stuff looked almost... blue. His eyes focused. _It is blue_.

"What the fuck is in this stuff?" Cenred shook his head.

"Trade secrets, my friend. But trust me, this is the best shit you'll find anywhere." He placed the packet in his hoodie, still unsure. Cenred began to roll himself a joint. "Fancy a hit, Lance? I won't even charge you since I'm such an amazing friend." Merlin was slightly shocked.

"Won't the smoke alarms pick it up?" Cenred laughed.

"Nah, that's the beauty of this stuff. Doesn't show on smoke detectors. Doesn't even smell."

"You're bullshitting."

"Scout's honour, my brother. This stuff is unlike anything else you'll ever see." He met Merlin's gaze challengingly, daring him.

"I'll have a hit then. Might as well try a sample first."

"I second the motion," Lance called out. "I'm broke anyway." Alice still looked unhappy with the situation; she making eye contact with Cenred, a warning written across her face. Merlin guessed she didn't approve. Elena, on the other hand, produced a bundle of notes and was tossed her own packet in return. _Great. All of my new friends are potheads. Oh well_. "Let Merlin have the first hit, I want to see his face." Cenred passed him the joint and when he took a puff, time seemed to slow down. This was nothing like spliff, this was like he was breathing in happiness. He relaxed immediately. The room seemed more colourful, yet hazy at the same time. He breathed out, he felt light. Lance watched him as Merlin's eyes glazed over and his arms hung down by his sides, laughing. "Good, isn't it? I reckon you'll be back when your packet's empty." Cenred was looking right at him, a sly smile on his lips. He had nice lips, they looked soft. _Wait, what_? Elena saw him looking, and shrieked with laughter.

"Cenred, you dick! You should have told him, the poor thing." She shook her head, laughing as she raised the joint to her lips. "We don't know what the hell he puts in it, put whatever it is, it's an aphrodisiac. I nearly hooked up with Lance the first time I took a hit."

"You did hook up with Lance," Alice corrected.

"Oh yeah! Details, details. We're buddies, it's cool."

"I'm sure Percy wouldn't agree if I told him," muttered Cenred.

"Shut up!" Lance wasn't having any of it. "It was an accident. The last thing I need is Percy breaking down my door." The joint had reached Merlin again, he was slightly confused by the conversation.

"Who's Percy?" he asked as he passed the joint back to Cenred, who looked amusedly at Merlin's wide eyes.

"Percival, Elena's hunk of a boyfriend. She's a free spirit he can't control and I think he likes that." Elena swatted him, her irises cloudy.

"Can it! Percy respects me, he knows I need space to do my own thing. You sure you don't want any, Aly-paly."

"When have I ever wanted any, El? And stop calling me that." Elena laughed.

"Prude," she retorted playfully, blowing her best friend a kiss. Alice was the only member of the group who apparently didn't smoke Cenred's mystery spliff. Merlin found himself staring at Cenred once again, taking in his features. He was good looking, he had nice eyes. _He's no Arthur, but..._ Merlin could have sworn Cenred's eyes flashed gold, and suddenly Arthur was banished from his head. _I don't need him, I don't want him. I think I want Cenred..._ Merlin blinked, suddenly nauseous. He stood up abruptly and looked at his watch. Half ten. That was an acceptable time to leave right? He needed to get to bed, something wasn't right.

"I'm going to head back to my dorm, I'm tired." Cenred's eyes narrowed and hge opened his mouth to say something, but Alice cut across.

"Me too. You coming Elena?" The other girl shrugged and stood up.

"Might as well. Sleep tight, my children."

"Night you lot," called Lance as they left the room. Cenred said nothing. Merlin walked away.

Arthur's POV

After chilling with the boys from the mess hall for a while, Arthur excused himself. Why? To go to the library. Yeah, he was surprised too. _Stupid stupid stupid. What are you even doing? You're an idiot. A fucking idiot. Goddamn it Arthur, just go back to the room_. But he couldn't he needed to learn more about that legend. He couldn't explain it, he just needed to.

The librarian didn't seem surprised to see someone walking in at 10PM. This must have been normal in Camelot Private. He eventually found the section he needed and began to flick threw a book titled The Protector and His Sorcerer.

"..._The Sorcerer is all-powerful, his magic the greatest the world had ever known; but no magic is without price. When granted his powers at birth by the Gods, they decreed he must be given a worthy weakness. The would be immune to all curses and spells he was attacked with, except one: The Haze. The Haze is ancient magic taught by the Clan of the Shadow. The Haze is a lust spell, compelling the Sorcerer to the will of the caster. While most of the Clan never mastered the spell at such a level to combat the Sorcerer, there is one who did: the Shadow himself. It was through this weakness he exploited the Sorcerer, leaving the Protector alone. _

_When the final battle came, one goddess took pity upon the Protector and granted him a final gift: the Haze. He used this to sway the will of his sorcerer back to his own. Together they came forward to battle the Shadow, but once again the Gods cruelty was shown. The struck the Protector with a moment of weakness, and in it the Shadow struck him with a deadly blow. As his master lay dying, the all-powerful servant killed the Shadow with magic powered by his rage and sorrow. The Protector died in his arms._

_For many centuries to come, the Sorcerer watched over then family of his master. The Protector's wife, who was unaware of her husband's destiny to his manservant, was pregnant at the time of the final battle, allowing the line of the Protector to continue. He eventually went on to found a school where all firstborn sons of the family would be sent. Over time the family forgot their destiny, their ancient history lost. Sick and weak from waiting for his master to return, the Sorcerer passed into the next life, broken and alone. It is said the line of the Protector lives on, and one day the Protector and his Sorcerer would return to battle the Shadow once again_..."

Arthur put down the book, feeling slightly sick. What was he even doing? He made his way back to

the dorm room, faltering when he saw a bundle lying on the bed next to his. Merlin was asleep, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. He gazed at the sleeping boy for several minutes before catching himself. Don't watch him sleep, Arthur. It's creepy. Stop being creepy. He changed his clothes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of shadows and gold eyes.

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**AN: I'm really enjoying myself now. Magic is fucking cool :) Possibly more chapters this week, you never know**


	8. Chapter 8: Grass-Stained Dreams

**AN: Just a short one to tide you over until next week. We're back to regular updates, minimum one chapter per week. If for any reason I'm missing a deadline, there will be some kind of notice. I'd never leave you all high a dry, you're like my children. My perverse, twisted children (I guess you take after me). Read on, dear fanwarriors. Merlin lives on through our fictional sodomy.  
**

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_Arthur's Dream_

I'm lying in a meadow, the grass is warm against my skin. He's lying facing me, his eyes heavy-lidded and sleepy. I reach out a hand to stroke his cheek.

_Merlin's Dream_

His hand is soft against my face, a lean into his touch. His eyes are fixed on mine again he leans forward to press his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."

_Arthur's Dream_

"What I did was worse than anything I've ever done. I'll never forgive myself. I..." He presses a thin finger against my lips.

_Merlin's Dream_

"I forgive you, Arthur. I forgive you for everything." I'm staring into his soul, his eyes are so beautiful it hurts. He gazes back into mine, his face mirroring mine. I am completely at peace.

_Arthur's Dream_

He forgives me. He's sees past the cruel deeds and torments, he sees me. I clasp his hand in mine; they lay between us, joining us together. Slowly, the colours dim until he's fading away and I drift back into consciousness.

Arthur's POV

It had been a while since Arthur had a nice dream, and Merlin forgiving him was definitely one of his best. He opened his eyes slowly, feeling the sleep harden as he blinked. I took several second of focusing before he could properly take in his surroundings. That was when he noticed a warm hand in his own. _Shit_.

Merlin's POV

A smile spread across his face as the dream slowly dissolved before his eyes. He was calm, genuinely happy. If only Arthur would ask for forgiveness. Merlin knew he would cave in a heartbeat. A small gasp beside him yanked him back to reality, his eyes shot open to reveal Arthur lying next to him. _I'm holding his hand. Fuck fuck fuck. Why am I holding his hand? What am I doing_? Then time froze. Merlin wasn't holding Arthur's hand; Arthur was holding Merlin's hand. His strong fist was clenched around Merlin's smaller, softer one. Their eyes met, and Arthur let go like it burned him. He shot out of bed and into the bathroom. Merlin heard the lock click shut. _Well fuck_.

Arthur's POV

When he finally left the bathroom, Merlin was already gone to breakfast. _Good_. Arthur couldn't face him now. Not after that. _Why the hell was I holding his hand? That's creepy, Arthur. You don't hold someone's hand while they're asleep, especially not someone who hates you. Merlin forgiving you? Dream on, sunshine. Never in a million years_. He got dressed and headed down to breakfast. He suddenly felt very alone. Funny how quickly these things can change.

Merlin's POV

The rest of them chatted away through breakfast, Merlin wasn't in the mood. He stayed quiet, lost in his own thoughts. _It meant nothing. Nothing, you understand? Arthur Pendragon does not care about you. Arthur Pendragon thinks you're scum. He will never ask you to forgive him and you will never be his friend. You're like fire and ice. Accept it_.

"You alright, Merlin?" Alice looked concerned, almost like she knew what she what had happened. She looked like she cared. Not that it was enough to make Merlin pour out his heart and soul about problems not even he could handle. He had enough scars, internal and external, as it was. Blades, bleach and betrayal make a person less than thrilled to trust other with their secrets. Merlin was no exception.

"I'm fine, really. Just... didn't sleep too well. I'm fine." Cenred stared at him through his eyelashes, evaluating him. Thank god for the first bell, the other boy look on the brink of continuing the questioning. First period double English was a lucky escape.

Arthur's POV

"Dude, you ok?" Leon had noticed how quiet he was being.

"I'm just tired bro, new place and all that." _Now fuck off_.

"You been out playing an early game of footie or something?" Valient's question confused him.

"...Why?"

"You've got grass-stains on your face, man. Haven't you looked in a mirror yet?" Arthur froze. _How in the fuck_?... He picked up a spoon and caught sight of his reflection. _Grass-stains. How did I not see that? How are they even there_? "Ah... was there a tangle out in the fields with a comely wench?" Valient was laughing now. Arthur's knee-jerk reaction kicked in.

"My girlfriend snuck in through the forest last night," he said, a leerish smirk on his face. _Stupid stupid stupid. You haven't changed. You're still putting on a show. Arthur Pendragon; stud, rich-boy, and dickhead extraordinaire. Always the same_. Elyan gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

"Nice, bro! That Guinevere chick, right?"

"Yup, prettiest babe in Camelot." The pride in his voice was not fake, Gwen was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He just didn't love her, not like she loved him. Not like he loved Mer- _stop it stop it stop it. Stop it right now. Don't even think that. What you're feeling mean nothing, NOTHING, you understand. You're pathetic_.

"You're a lucky man," said Leon. Show's how much you know. Everything Arthur thought was bitter because inside he was screaming. He couldn't understand. How the hell were there grass-stains on his face? _You weren't actually in the meadow, you idiot. The meadow isn't real. That was just you apologising to a figment of your imagination because you're too much of a pussy to do it in real life. Because you're afraid that he won't forgive you, you know he won't. You're a monster, and a pathetic one at that_. When the bell rang he trudged away to Chemistry, hoping everyone just leave him alone. No such luck.

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**AN: Was that ok? Don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be here. Waiting. On tumblr. Waiting. Crying about Supernatural. Waiting. Praying, longing for affection. Waiting for you to remind me that someone actually reads this stuff. ****Au revoir.  
**


	9. Chapter 9: Tessellate

**AN: Holy shit it's a long one. The moment we've all been waiting for. I hope you enjoy it, you dirty fuckers. I know I did.**

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Of course his first task of the year would be a chemistry project. Of course he would have to work in a pair. Of course the only other available person would be Cenred, the one who had been eying Merlin. _Perfect. Fucking perfect_.

"So you're Pendragon, then." The bitterness in the other boys eyes was unmistakable.

"So what if I am?"

"How much did Daddy pay to get you a place? You Pendragons aren't exactly renowned for your brains."

"What's it to you? Can we just work on the project?" The other boy leaned closer.

"I heard you're bunking with Merlin. I heard you two have a history. I heard about the things you did to him." Arthur's heart was pounding in his throat.

"Fuck off."

"No, you fuck off. You broke him. Now I'll be here to pick up the pieces, so I really should thank you..." Arthur growled.

"You stay the hell away from him."

"Not your decision, Your Highness. This is my territory, and I'm taking what`s mine." The boy grinned. "He trusts me. He'll never trust you, you made sure off that." Their eyes met, triumph clashing with fury. There was fire in both of them. This was more than teenage angst. Arthur had never felt so angry, so possessive... yet the feeling was familiar. This felt old, primitive, like instinct. He had to protect Merlin. His Merlin.

Merlin`s POV

He sat down next to Alice, thankful for the comforting aura she seemed to carry around her.

"You're ok, Merlin" she said as she reached out to touch his shoulder. Merlin's muscles relaxed as he let go of the stress. When he felt better, on some strange instinct, he blocked the warm feeling spreading from his shoulder. Alice yanked her hand away, shocked at something. He couldn`t tell what.

"Everything alright?" She met his eyes. She almost looked scared.

"I'm... fine. Let`s get working, shall we?" They continued in silence for a good half of the first class before she spoke again. "Merlin; about Cenred-"

"What about him?"

"Look, we all love Cenred. He's like my brother, I'd die for him. Just... just be careful. Cenred is... different. He's stronger than he looks, in lots of ways. I just don't want you to get hurt." Merlin was still confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Just... just have your wits about you, ok? Be careful." They didn't speak again.

Arthur's POV

The rest of the day was painfully slow. He ate in the small cafe the school housed; it sold sandwiches and crisps, the usual stuff. None his other classes were memorable. He barely saw Merlin. Eventually there was an hour to go until supper and Arthur had no lessons. He decided to head back to his room. He needed to clear his head.

_What the hell happened with Cenred? Since when am I here to protect Merlin. I don't care, he can hook up with whoever he wants. It's none of my business. Just like Gwaine was none of my business_. Arthur's throat seemed to constrict at the memory. He needed to lie down.

Sitting by his bed was the book the had taken from the library the night before. Why he was drawn back to him was a mystery. He just needed to know more. He opened a more in-depth passage on the Haze.

"The Clan of the Shadow generally controlled the Haze using a magically plant for which their is no name. It is very similar to a cannabis leaf, but magically enhanced (giving it a slightly blue tint). The victims become hyper aware of their surroundings are their eyes glass-over. It is in this state that they can be influenced by the caster. For several minutes after the spell, the victim could be trapped in a psychic link with their tormentor. This was so the caster could continue to encourage their victim to do their bidding even after the influence.

It is said the Shadow was the first Clansman to ever master the Haze without the use off the plant. This was how he was able to break the will of the Sorcerer, who succumbed quicker without the plant than with.

The Protector was the first outsider to ever be granted the gift of the haze, he powers matching that of the Shadow. The Protector's conscious became a tug of war of sorts, the damaging affecting him for the rest of his too-long life."

Arthur shook his head. He couldn't imagine it; standing on a battlefield between your friend and enemy, both of them compelling you to join them. It must have been hell. _It was hell_. Arthur startled. _What the hell was that? How would I know that it was hell? I wasn't there. Then he laughed quietly. Of course I wasn't there; it's story, it didn't actually happen_. This place was messing with his head.

Merlin's POV

Eventually it was time to return to the Mess Hall. Despite the rocky start and Alice's strange warning, he'd enjoyed his day. He felt like he belonged here.

"How was your first official day?" Elena was he usual perky self, happy to been talking after Double Maths all alone. Her timetable sucked.

"It was good. I'm getting on fine." Cenred plonked himself down next to him.

"Fear not, I am here. Kilgharrah wanted a chat." Alice shook her head.

"You need to stop screwing with him. He won't stay passive for much longer."

"Oh please. It was a small firework, nothing to get upset about." He scooted closer to Merlin, catching his eyes. Merlin suddenly felt himself leaning closer to the other boy, longing to be closer. He leaned into his touch like a cat would to it's owner. _He's petting me. __He's petting me_. Merlin didn't want to like it. No one was paying any attention to him. Good. All he could see was Cenred.

Arthur's POV

Something wasn't right. He could see Cenred sit down, saying something with a devilish grin on his face. He's sitting too close to Merlin. Too close. He watched in horror as the boy reached out to touch Merlin, his Merlin, and struggled to control himself when Merlin leaned into that touch. The Cenred started to pet him and all hell broke loose.

_Mine mine mine_. Each thought was a punch, a blow. He through his thoughts at Cenred, who seemed to flinch slightly, but didn't remove his hand.

_Mine mine mine_. Each thought was a caress, a kiss, yearning. Merlin's body tensed, and Arthur grinned triumphantly when he backed away from Cenred. The he caught himself.

_What the fuck just happened_?

Merlin's POV

He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't pull away. Cenred's touches were soft, almost loving, but Merlin felt chained. He was being gripped, held in place. He could feel him protests fading, his muscles slackening. He couldn't fight it, he didn't even understand what was happening. The he felt it.

_Mine_. The word stroked his face, running a hand along his cheekbone. _Mine._ The word fell upon his lips, comforting yet possessive. _Mine_. He word brought him back. Merlin was a good servant, he always came back when his master called for him.

_What the fuck just happened_? He pulled away from Cenred, who drew back a the lack of contact, obviously confused. His brain was a mess of different thoughts. The ones about Cenred felt wrong, foreign. But the last one. The last one felt like the truest thing Merlin had thought in his sorry excuse of a life. I always come back when master calls for me. What does that even mean? This was all too much. He was glad when his group began to leave.

Alice and Cenred held back for a moment, yet Merlin could still hear them. He felt some kind of connection between him and Cenred now, every word Alice said was clear in his mind.

"You need to stop. At least wait until after Monday, he'll understand then."

"You don't get it Alice. I can do I without the spliff now. I just wanted to practice. I'm stronger than ever."

"Oh yeah? Then what happened?"

"I don't know. It was like suddenly he was blocked from me."

"Well, listen. I was calming him earlier and all of a sudden he just-" The connection faded away and he was left with listening to Elena and Lance. Decided to stay with them for the evening. He wasn't comfortable being around Cenred until he figured out what was going on.

The rest of the evening was a blur, and by the time he returned to his dorm Arthur was asleep. His slid into his own bed. His sleep was dreamless and the next morning he woke up alone.

Arthur's POV

Wednesday was football tryouts, and this was the only part of the day that stuck in his head. Everything else was background noise to his thoughts. There had been no dreams, no grass-stains this time. He had mixed feeling about that.

"You were awesome today, mate!" Elyan was glad to have more talent, and having their ex-captain on their team would be a big advantage when they played against Camelot Secondary in two weeks.

"Definitely," agreed Leon. "You've got real talent."

"You any good at rugby?" joked Valient.

"Sorry, brah. No can do."

"He," said Elyan, "What's up with your cell-mate?"

"Merlin? What about him?"

"He just ran off." Arthur turned his head to see Cenred stand up to run after him (_oh no you don't_), but a girl he didn't know gripped the bastard's shoulder and he sat back down. He looked back at his table.

"I'm going to check he's ok." The other's nodded and Arthur ran after Merlin.

Merlin's POV

He could help it. He had to leave. He needed to get back to his room. They kept asking about his old school, about what had happened to him there, and he just couldn't- _Pathetic. This is bad. Even for you. Running to hide in your room. Pathetic_. He threw himself down on the bed, sobbing quietly to himself. _Pathetic pathetic pathetic_. Oh how he regretted throwing away his knife; he needed to remind himself of just how pathetic he really was. He was running out of space on his thighs.

The door opened and a silhouette stood over him. Merlin didn't have the strength to tell whoever it was to fuck off.

"Merlin," a voice whispered, gentle and concerned. Not pitying. He lifted his head and came face to face with Arthur Pendragon. And even after everything, he was happy to see him.

Arthur's POV

All he wanted to do was hold him. Grip him tight and kiss away his tears. Tell him he was sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry for this. This was all his fault. The other boys eyes stared up him, a wild mixture that Arthur couldn't distinguish in them. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed next to the boy who's life he had ruined. This beautiful, broken boy who he wanted to hold and never let go. Never.

"Leave me alone."

"No." Then Arthur said something that shocked himself. "I'm not leaving you again."

Merlin's POV

_Again. Again. What does he mean again_? But Merlin's mouth said something different.

"I waited. I waited for you. And this is what you do? You break me." He was sobbing loudly now. "I'm broken, Arthur. I don't think I can fix myself this time. Not after everything." The golden haired boy leaned over to touch his tear-stained face.

"I'll fix you."

"How? My body is in ruins, my mind is no better. How can I protect you like this? How can I do my duty?"

"I will right the wrongs. It is not just you who has waited. I'm here now. I'll fix you." Arthur's forehead touched Merlin's, theirs warm breaths mixing. Slowly, delicately, Arthur tilted the other boys chin upwards and their lips met.

Sparks. Fire. Blinding light. It was as is the universe had just clicked into place and Arthur was at the centre. Everything else disappeared. Gently, the older boy broke away and looked Merlin in the eye.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"I forgive you. I will always forgive you." And with that, reality bit back, screaming bloody murder.

Arthur's POV

_What was that? What the fuck was that_? He'd been talking, but it hadn't been speaking. _That doesn't even make sense, you prat. You're going insane_.

"What... what was-"

"I don't know, I don't know! I could here myself talking and I couldn't stop the words just kept coming out and I wasn't trying to say anything I don't know what's happening what's happening I don't understand-"

"Merlin!" The dark-haired boy shut up. _What am I doing? What the hell am I doing_? "Calm down." There was strange authority in his voice and Arthur watched as Merlin visible relaxed before his eyes. _What is happening what is happening what the fuck what the fuck I don't understand_. "Come here." _Oh no. Fuck fuck fuck fuck_.

Merlin's POV

The voice warm and comforting. The voice reached inside him and caressed his very soul. He knew the voice and the voice knew him. They were old friends. Merlin's body relaxed, complying to the voice's command. Inside he rejoiced, he wasn't alone anymore. He had waited for so long, now he was whole again. The voice told him to approach and he obeyed. A hand found it's way into his hair and Merlin began to take back the wheel.

"Arthur... I'm scared. I don't understand what's happening."

"That makes two of us. All I know is I'm supposed to be here for you. We're supposed to protect each other. And from now on, that's what I'm going to do. Now rest." Merlin did as he was told, drifting away, dreaming of memories that couldn't be his.

_Merlin's dream_

"Hurry up, Merlin. We haven't got all day." He is riding ahead of me. I do not stare at his glorious back. I don't. Ok, maybe I do.

"We wouldn't be so late leaving if you hadn't made me rearrange your wardrobe. It was fine the way it was."

"It was not, Merlin! I swear to the Gods your the worst servant I've ever had."

"You keep telling yourself that, Your Pratness."

"You do realise I could have you killed for that?"

"But you won't, will you?" Arthur laughed.

"I don't suppose I will."

_Arthur's Dream_

We ride until we reach the meadow. It is darker now, it will not be long until the sky turns gold.

"Is this it?"

"Yes Merlin. Now come here." We lie down on the cool grass, facing each other. I have been waiting for days to bring him here, the only place we can be truly alone. His eyes are beautiful. I kiss his pale forehead, drunk on being able to touch him so freely. While it hurts to betray my wives trust, I know this is meant to be. Merlin is mine. My manservant takes a deep breath and speaks.

"Arthur, I have a confession to make."

_Merlin's dream_

"There's something I've been hiding from you. Something big. And if we're going to continue doing this, you need to know." He looks at me, a slightly bemused smile on his face.

"Is it about your magic?" I freeze.

"You... you know?" He laughs, and the heat of his breath warms my face.

"I've always known, you idiot, I could just feel it. And it doesn't," he punctuating his words with a kiss. "Change," another. "The way I feel," yet another. "About you. I love you Merlin. I will until the end of time itself."

"I will love you for longer." Our kisses became more heated, more passionate. Arthur shifted position and finds himself lying on top of me. I grind my hips desperately against him. I want him. I need him.

"Merlin... are you sure you're ready?" He is still hesitant, I am not.

"I will always be ready."

_Arthur's dream_

I grip his hair tightly as I hungrily suck on his face. This is it. The moment I have longed for since Gods' know when. He is so eager, so bloody beautiful. I am hardening for him, my pupils dilating as he moans. I fumble with his breeches, crushing whoever made them so difficult to open. Eventually we are both free, our erections pressed together in delicious friction. The noises Merlin is making are driving me insane, I need release, It's all too much.

"Merlin Emyrs," I rasp, catching his stunning, lust-filled eyes. "I am going to fuck you in this field until you scream my name for all of Camelot to hear."

Merlin's POV

Even before he was fully awake, Merlin was painfully aware of the state his underwear were in. He had never changed out of yesterdays clothes, and that bloody dream had ruined him. His head was lying on Arthur's warm chest, moving up and down with the other boys breathing. He knew he should move, but he couldn't. So he lay there, trying to understand what the hell was going on.

Arthur Pendragon had apologised. Arthur Pendragon said he would fix it. Arthur Pendragon had held him tight and... told him to sleep? That part was still confusing. Arthur had told him to sleep and he had done it, just like that. That was weird. Before he could contemplate the matter further, he felt Arthur's breath falter as he awoke. Well, here goes _nothing_.

"Merlin," Arthur whispered. "You're in bed. With me. You don't hate me. You forgave me. We kissed." Merlin smiled, unsure.

"I suppose we did."

"Thank God. I've wanted to kiss you since the moment we met. I think I love you." Merlin untangled himself from Arthur's safe arms.

"I suppose we'll have to find out later."

Arthur's POV

He willed the day to pass faster. He barely heard a word anyone said, all he could think about was Merlin. _"I suppose we'll have to find out later." What does that even mean_? Arthur needed to know.

Everything was too slow. The lessons were too slow, lunch period was too slow, Leon's talking was too bloody slow. Hours felt like days, seconds felt like years. He needed Merlin. Especially after that dream.

"Been in the forest again, mate?" Valient was smirking. You have no idea.

"Not exactly."

"Good. It's not fair for you to be getting so much action. The only one getting any arse 'round here is Perci, and that's just because his girlfriend comes in high off Cenred's supply everynight." Perci punched Elyan's shoulder.

"Don't talk about Elena like that."

"It's true though." Perci shot Valient a dirty look and he just grinned back. "So Arthur, fancy sneaking out for a drink tonight?" Arthur shook his head.

"Nah, man. I have a... visitor." Elyan laughed.

"You sly git! Can you not last five days? Her cooch must be made of gold."

"Leave him off," said Leon. He turned to Arthur, a sincere smile on his face. "When's she coming?" Arthur caught Merlin's gaze from across the room, who proceeded to excuse himself from his table and head up to their room. Arthur checked his watch; twenty to eight. Good enough.

"About now actually." Perci slapped him on the back, the playful force making him wince slightly.

"Off you go then. We'll take you out next week." Arthur had never left a table so fast in his life.

Merlin's POV

He sat on the bed, fidgeting. He was nervous. Very nervous. He might have been on the brink of a mental break-down when the door finally swung open.

"Arthur," he greeted, trying to look composed. _Don't mess this up. Don't you dare mess this up_.

"Let's dive right in shall we?" Merlin nodded and began.

"Freya's party. What you did to Gwaine and I. Why?" Arthur inhaled deeply, looking distressed and so very ashamed.

"I walked in on you. I didn't mean to, I was too drunk to know any better. I saw you with him and... I was angry. I was so angry I could barely breath. I felt like he wasn't allowed to have you, he didn't have the right. I was blindly jealous. Then Mordredd saw the pictures..." Arthur sighed. "I couldn't stop him. You know what he's like before I knew it, that shit was all over the school. Mordredd went around telling people you were a slag, that Gwaine had payed you. I was so confused and I didn't know what to do. All these thoughts were running around my head, all these opinions my father had drilled into me. So I lashed out. Everything I said to you were things I wanted to tell myself. I fucked up Merlin. I fucked everything up."

"Well," he whispered, "I my memory serves, you're going to fix everything. Fix me."

"I- I honestly have no idea where that came from, but I made you a promise last night that I intend to keep. I'll fix you, no matter what it takes." Merlin shifted position and pulled out the bag Cenred had given him.

"I reckon this calls for a celebration, don't you?" Arthur laughed in disbelief.

"Amen to that." As Merlin set about to rolling them two joints, Arthur searched for his docking station. When he had plugged it in, Merlin handed him the strange looking spliff, already lit. His eyes widened as he inhaled. "To forgiveness," he said as he reached over and pressed play.

Merlin's POV

_Bite chunks out of me_  
_ You're a shark and I'm swimming_  
_ My heart still thumps as I bleed_  
_ And all your friends come sniffing._

The smoke was making his vision hazy. Everything was so clear yet so warped. The room swayed slightly, except for Arthur. Arthur was the only constant, the only thing in the room that even mattered. And he wanted to be with Merlin. Poor, pathetic Merlin. Arthur thought he was beautiful. He moved in for the kiss, loving the look in Arthur's perfect eyes.

Arthur's POV

_Triangles are my favorite shape_  
_ Three points where two lines meet._  
_ Toe to toe, back to back, let's go_  
_ My love it's very late._  
_ 'Til morning comes, let's tessellate_.

Merlin's lips were soft, warm, demanding. Whatever Merlin had given him was strong, he was nearly gone already. All he wanted was Merlin. He wanted his mouth, his hips, his sweet tight ass around Arthur cock. The were both already hard, both needy.

Merlin's POV

_Go alone my flower_  
_ And keep my whole lovely you._  
_ Wild green stones alone my lover_  
_ And keep us on my heart._

This was all so much. By now they were both naked, neither of them quite sure how. Time seemed to slow down, Merlin was aware of every single detail of Arthur's glorious body. He roamed every inch with his hand, his lips, his tongue.

"So beautiful. Goddamn it, Arthur; so fucking beautiful." Arthur bucked his hips against him, moaning Merlin's name like a prayer.

"I nee- I need-"

"Anything, Arthur. Anything." Arthur looked past his eyes and into his soul.

"I need to fuck you right now."

Arthur's POV

_Three guns and one goes off, one's empty, one's not quick enough_  
_One burn, one red, one grin_  
_Search the graves while the camera spins._  
_Chunks of you will sink down to seals_  
_Blubber rich in mourning._  
_They'll nosh you up, yes they'll nosh the love away, but it's fair to say_  
_You will still haunt me._

Suddenly, I was on top. Merlin was spread out below me, naked and glorious. It took control no to come just at the sight of him. They had no condom, no lube. Somehow it didn't matter. Merlin was already open and ready, so warm and fucking tight. Arthur pushed himself in, his eyes on Merlin the whole time, and nearly lost it at the noises the boy was making.

"You like that?" He growled. "You like my cock in you, don't you. You want me to fuck you until you're seeing stars and you've forgotten about everything except me."

"Yes Arthur oh please Arthur move please..."

"I like it when you beg, Merlin. I like it when you beg for me to fuck you like the good little servant you are. You're mine."

"I'm your's Arthur now please move please..." Arthur began to thrust deep into the Merlin, adjusting his angle slightly, hitting his prostate again and again.

"Merlin Merlin Merlin I love you I love you so fucking much."

Merlin's POV

_Triangles are my favorite shape_  
_Three points where two lines meet._  
_Toe to toe, back to back, let's go_  
_My love it's very late._  
_'Til morning comes, let's tessellate._

"I love you too Arthur oh Gods yes Arthur I love you I love you I love you..."

"Come for me, Merlin," Arthur whispered. "Come for me." And so Merlin did, screaming Arthur's name for the high heavens to hear.

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**AN: Thoughts? Would love to know. Have exhausted most of my creativity on this beast so count yourselves lucky if you get another chapter this week. Next will be the first weekend at home, followed by the much anticipated Advanced Sociology with Professor Kilgharrah. Hold onto your panties, children. You're in for some ride  
**


	10. Chapter 10: Forced Forgetfulness

**AN: Ahoy there, shippers. Another chapter I have for ye. I'm so sorry it took so long, am very sick at the moment. This is the best my medication-addled brain could do. Chapter contains non-con, you have been warned. Quick note, Camelot Private has some peculiar function I thought I should describe. Lessons finish at 12.30 on a Friday, after which the students return home. They come back on Sunday night, ready to start lessons Monday morning. We cool? On with the chapter!**

* * *

Merlin's face was warm against Arthur's chest, his soft hair brushing against him with every breath. Arthur didn't want to open his eyes, he was afraid of what would happen if he did. What if the whole thing was a dream? He couldn't bear to shatter the perfect moment. He felt Merlin's breathing falter as he awoke slowly. Arthur inhaled deeply, his chest swelling. _Well, here goes nothing_. He opened his eyes. And boy was he glad he did.

Merlin was beautiful. A small smile was on his perfect lips, his dark hair falling over his closed eyes. He looked so happy, so at peace. Arthur had never seen him like his. And then those eyes opened to meet his and Arthur's heart nearly burst at the love he saw there.

"Good morning, Arthur." Merlin sounded half asleep. "Is this real? Or am I having a very enjoyable dream?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Arthur tilted his head down towards the boy on his chest. "Let's find out, shall we?" Their lips collided softly, lovingly. This was not lust-filled or leading to anything more; it was just the two of them, exploring each other, searching for proof that this was in fact happening. Minutes passed, and eventually they broke apart. "That feels real to me." Merlin nodded.

"I agree. But the question is," he shifted so their foreheads were practically touching, "Do you want it to be real? Are you sure you want this? You're Arthur Pendragon, the golden boy of Camelot; you could have anyone you want-"

"And you're Merlin Emyrs, the boy I broke. The boy I promised to fix. Trust Me, Merlin." Their lips drew together again. "I want you."

Merlin's POV

Merlin fell into Arthur kiss, craving his touch. The way Arthur was looking at him, like he was the best thing the boy had ever seen, was overwhelming. Merlin was nothing special. Scratch that, Merlin was nothing full-stop. Yet now he felt wanted, he felt needed. And he fucking loved it. Then a crippling thought struck him and he broke away.

"What's wrong?" Merlin tried to catch his breath.

"Gw... Gwen." Arthur froze.

"Fuck fuck fuck GWEN how did I forget about Gwen what am I going to do this is a disaster I'm seeing her tonight what am I going to do-"

"Arthur!" He shut up. "Listen to me. Do you love her?"

"I... I though I did, but I could never... I couldn't... She loves me. I couldn't leave her, but..." He was flustered, distressed, but he answered in the end, " No. I don't not," he hesitated. "Not the way I love you." Merlin's breath caught in his throat.

"You love me?"

"I think I've always loved you. I know it sounds crazy, but it just feels right. I love you, Merlin. I don't know why or how, but I do. This is meant to be."

"I... I think I love you too." He shook his head. "No, I don't think. I know. I love you, Arthur. Heavens help me, but I do." His smile was sad. "I'm sorry, Arthur, but we can't keep doing this if you're still with Gwen. I can't, I won't share you."

"I will break up with her tonight, I promise. I'll do it for you."

"Then it's settled." Something else occurred to him. "Do we want to tell anyone?" Arthur hesitated.

"I don't know. Are you comfortable with other people knowing?"

"No now, not yet. Maybe in time, but for now I want this to just be between us."

"I agree. I want you all to myself, no prying eyes or nosy gossiper. Just us." They fell back onto the bed, lips locked once again

Arthur's POV

Eventually they were able to drag themselves away from each other for long enough to get dressed and head down to breakfast. Arthur wished they could sit together, but they wanted to keep their relationship a secret and it would look suspicious. While a part of Arthur wanted to proclaim their relationship for all to hear, he knew that wasn't wise. _As long as Cenred backs the fuck off_. He hadn't forgotten what the other boy had said, and he wasn't letting him take Merlin away. Arthur smirked. _He hasn't got a chance now. Merlin is with me, he forgave me. He's mine_.

When he reached the table, the others were watching him expectantly. Val broke out into a grin.

"Dude, you've got sex hair!" Elyan laughed, Percy slapped him on the back and Leon looked mildly envious.

"I've what?"

"It is incredibly clear from the state of your hair that you've thoroughly fucked someone," Leon explained. Elyan inspected the back.

"Someone who's into hair pulling, it seems." Arthur could see it; Merlin, hands in his blond hair, moaning as Arthur thrust into him, louder each time he hit the raven-haired boy's sweet spot-

"Arthur!" Val's voice yanked him back to reality, which in retrospect was a blessing. The last thing he needed right now was a hard-on."So I assume last night went well." Arthur smiled.

"You could say that."

"You sly dog, it's a disgrace. How often could you possibly need to get laid?"

"More often that you, I suppose."

"Ha! That would be funny, if I wasn't invited to share a," he smirked, "Sandwich with Morgause."

"I thought she was lez?" asked Percival.

"Yeah, but her girlfriend swings both ways so obviously I was her first choice." Arthur was curious.

"Who's her girlfriend?" Val opened his mouth to answer, but his smirk faltered and he shut it.

"No one you'd know."

"You don't know that. C'mon, tell me." Elyan was shaking his head desperately.

"I don't think you want to know, mate."

"I do. Tell me. Just tell me." Leon leaned over to him and answered in a hushed voice.

"Um, Morgana Pendragon?..." Time slowed down. Arthur turned towards Val.

"You're planning on having a threesome with my sister."

"I'm sorry, man! I just-"

"No, you know what, it's fine. Your decision. Just... whatever. Forget it." No one talked for the rest of breakfast.

Merlin's POV

This was not going well. The girls had immediately recognised the hair of someone who had been fucked within every inch of their life and wanted details. No matter how many times he denied it, they refused to believe him. He didn't like the way Cenred kept looking at him.

As they left the Mess Hall, Elena continued to badger him. Alice had let up, but now Lance was joining in. Eventually they spilt off in separate directions, vowing they would get the story out of him in the end. Merlin was left alone with Cenred, who had a free class with him and seemed to be ignoring him. That was, until they turned into an empty corridor and Merlin found himself Pressed against a wall, staring into Cenred's wild eyes.

"You gave him some of the spliff, didn't you?"

"What are you tal-"

"Don't play stupid with me, Merlin. I know you shared it with Pendragon. I could smell it off him." His grip on Merlin tightened and his eyes began to glow. "Don't do it again. Never. He can't... Don't do it." Merlin wanted to laugh, wanted to spit in Cenred's face, but he couldn't. His body wouldn't listen. His muscles were slack and he had moulded into Cenred's touch. All he could do was do what he was told, and was slowly forgetting why he didn't want to.

He was being dragged into a free classroom, he couldn't fight. He was thrown onto a desk, and Cenred pupils were full blown and ringed with gold. He was falling into those eyes, his mind was fuzzy and he could barely remember his own name. The sound of his mother's voice. Arthur's face. All he could see were those eyes. Then Merlin was gone, he was just a shell, a body. Apparently Cenred liked that, when Merlin didn't fight. When he didn't protest as he was flipped over and bent over the desk. When he didn't cry out ask he was entered without lube or protection (this was different than with Arthur, this hurt). When he didn't touch himself, didn't ask for more, didn't enjoy it. This was how Cenred liked him. And Merlin wasn't there to care anymore, he was on some higher plain. He was so alone.

When Cenred was done, he told Merlin not to clean himself, to leave his seed in his ass for the rest of the day. Merlin obeyed. He told him to stay in the classroom until the end of the period. Merlin obeyed. He told him not to share the spliff with Arthur again. Merlin obeyed. The Cenred was gone and Merlin came back.

_No no no no what just happened HE RAPED ME. HE FUCKING RAPED ME. I NEED TO FIND ARTHU_- Forget.

Cenred was still in his head. He was still there. Merlin could hear him.

_No, stop it. I won't forget. I need to tell Arthu_- Forget.

He could feel the incident slipping away from him. He was losing his grip on the memories. Cenred was too strong.

_I'll remember. I'll tell him. I love him. I love Arthu_- Forget.

Merlin forgot.

Arthur's POV

Though the school day was short, spending it without Merlin stretched it out. Arthur had no idea how he had become so dependent on the other boy after one night, but they just seemed to fit together. They completed each other. Two sides of the same coin. _Wooooow, where did that come from_? But the phrase felt right, familiar. Arthur still wasn't accustomed to these strange bouts of deja vu. He hoped he wasn't losing it, yet found he didn't care. He had Merlin now, everything would be ok. Everything.

When the time came to return home, Uther's driver was waiting for him outside. Arthur had never expected his father to come himself. It simply wasn't done.

"Pleasant first week, sir?" Arthur chuckled to himself.

"You could say that."

"Your father has asked me to bring you to Avalon, he wishes to partake in luncheon with you there. Your sister will also be present." He groaned internally. Lunch with Uther and Morgana was the last thing he needed right now, especially after hearing about Morgana's apparently fruitful sex life. Shuddering, he nodded at the driver who's name he had never learnt. _Maybe I should get around that sometime. But not now_. Right now he had his family to deal with.

Merlin's POV

After waking up in an abandoned classroom, Merlin figured he'd fallen asleep there. He had been up quite late the night before. Smiling, he headed off to his next class.

The rest of the school day passed slowly, but not unbearably so. It was a shame he didn't have any classes with Arthur that day, but he managed. He couldn't shake a vague feeling of... discomfort. Uncleanliness. Whatever it was, Merlin did his best to ignore it. He was heading back to his own bed tonight, and while he would would not get to see Arthur until Monday, the thought still brought a smile to his face. Plus, Will and Freya were spending Saturday night with him, and a week was they longest Merlin had gone without seeing one or the other. To say they were close would be an understatement.

Gauis was still working shifts at the clinic when home-time came around, so Merlin took the bus back to their house. Before he even put his duffel bag away he had his laptop out. Students were not allowed personal computers, and while the school's ones worked just fine, there was a homely feeling to using his own. He had spent hours, days at a time on that thing; even if it was a shitty acer, the only thing Gauis could afford to buy him. Opening a youtube music playlist, he stood up to fix himself some food, some Arctic Monkeys blaring in the background. It was nice to be back at his safe-haven.

Someone was hammering at the door, and the rhythmic nature of the knocking told him it was Will. He made his way to the front door and when he flung it open, he was tackled into a brotherly embrace.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin!"

"Will..." Merlin wheezed. "I love you too, but you're crushing my ribcage."

"Too bad! It has been far too long."

"A week, mate. A week." Silently, Merlin agreed with Will. They had been best friends for so long, being apart was hard for them. Especially after the Arthur Incident. _Fuck_. How the hell was Merlin going to explain what happened between him and Arthur. Correction: he wasn't.

"So, how was your week with the toffs? Did they shun you for not having a high enough net value?"

"Will! They were actually really nice. Well, I did get some dirty looks, but no one said anything."

"I'm sorry about Pratdragon. Apparently he only told Gwen he was leaving, no one else knew." Merlin shrugged, praying he wasn't blushing. "He wasn't too much of a dick, was he? How the hell did you survive sharing a room with him, your texts were pretty vague."

"He... he kept his distance. We didn't see each other much, moving in different circles and all that."

"Mate, you were sleeping in the same room as him, how did you not see him much?"

"I... I was always in asleep when he came back and I would leave before he woke up in the mornings. He didn't bother me, Will. I'm fine." Will studied him. He looked like he was about to say something, then he must have changed his mind.

"Whatever you say, Merly." He grinned at the pet name he knew his friend hated. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay over or..."

"It's fine, Will. Gaius wants to spend the day with me, he's getting off at 3 today especially. You know how he normally works full day Friday. Plus, your lunch period ends in like 20 minutes, I'm not letting you skip class for me any more."

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, but tomorrow-"

"Tomorrow you and Freya can have me all to yourselves."

"Bet your arse we will! Freya will want to know about EVERYTHING, especially the men." This time Merlin couldn't control a blush from forming, and Will saw. "Aha! Stories for another night, my friend. Just you wait until the official interrogation."

"Out with ye!" Merlin playfully shoved his friend towards the door so he would make the next bus back to Camelot Secondary. Inside, he began to worry. _What the hell am I going to tell them_? He had one day to think of a plausible story. _Better get started then_.

Arthur's POV

Lunch with Uther was uncomfortable to say the least. He didn't seem too concerned about how Arthur felt about his first week, he was more interested in whether or not his son was living up to the "Pendragon standards". He seemed vaguely pleased when Arthur mentioned making the football team, but less so when Arthur mentioned a certain teacher who had shown them around.

"That man taught me, he was too old then and he is older now. He is practically senile, all he speaks of are legends and myths. Him and the "foretold Protector". It would serve you well to steer clear of that man, Arthur. Him and his Advanced Sociology class."

"What about Advanced Sociology?" Uther scoffed.

"It is where they send the students who acquired their place purely through sympathy. They all have some sob story about being bullied and the class supposedly 'helps them learn to trust others'. A load of nonsense if you ask me." Arthur was slightly puzzled at his father's obvious bitterness, he decided to drop the subject before Uther was agitated any further.

When their main course came, Uther had finished with his son and began to quiz his daughter about the person she was seeing. Arthur paid close attention at his sister's answers.

"And where does he go to school?"

"S- He goes to Camelot Private, father." Arthur winced as Morgana nearly slipped up. His father didn't seem to notice.

"Does he now? Perhaps Arthur knows him." Uther seemed oblivious to the panic in his daughter's eyes. "What is his name?"

"Valient!" she blurted. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"I do know him, actually. He's, uh, very... respectable." Uther nodded, but before he could enquire further his phone began to ring and he left the table to answer it. As soon as his father was out of earshot, Arthur leaned forward towards his sister. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were bi?"  
Morgana startled.

"Who told you-"

"I heard about the little party you had planned with your girlfriend and Valient." She paled.

"Arthur, I'm sor-"

"Mor, I'm not angry. Hell, do whatever you want in the bedroom. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"You don't?" She laughed bitterly. "Everyone knows what you did to Merlin. You're not exactly the most homo-friendly of guys, you prat. The last thing I needed was you getting all up in my face about this."

"Mor... I'm not homophobic, not really."

"I know you're not, Arthur. You're just so far in the closet you could be a pashmina." Now it was Arthur's turn to startle. "I knew it! So I gather you've come to terms with it." She patted him on the back. "Embrace the inner rainbow, little brother. Welcome to Faggot-Ville." He shook her off.

"Stop it. I- I'm breaking up with Gwen." Her eyes widened.

"You've found a guy, haven't you? Damn boy you work fast. Who is it?"

"It's..." Arthur hesitated. "It's Merlin."

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**AN: I forgot to mention, the song in the last chapter was Tessellate by Alt-J, which I do not own. For all those who've been PMing me about wanting to see a more powerful Merlin; just you wait, my children. Just you wait...**


	11. Chapter 11: Shots and Sex Heal All part1

**AN: I'm sorry. I've had terrible writer's block recently and my life has been pretty hectic. This chapter is much shorter than I wanted it to be, but if I don't post it now I never will. Enjoy?**

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After the disbelief, the outrage and the scolding came the laughter. Morgana began to laugh. Arthur waited for her to stop. She didn't. Tears were rolling down her face and the other patrons were beginning to glare. It was only the return of Uther that shut her up, and the rest of the meal was unremarkable. Their father seemed keen to return to his work and Morgana was spending the weekend with Morgause. Arthur attempted to purge the unwanted images from his brain and headed home to shower and prepare himself for his evening with Gwen. To say he was dreading it would be an understatement.

When he finished in the shower, he decided to lay down on his bed for a while. He needed to collect his thoughts. Gwen had always treated him so well, he didn't want to hurt her. But there was nothing he could do, he couldn't be with Merlin during the week and come home to Gwen on Friday nights. Somewhere in the middle of mentally constructing his breakup speech his dosed off, tired after a long week.

_Arthur's dream_

_"_Merlin? Merlin what's happening?" His eyes are dead, dispassionate. It's like he's not even there. He is turning away from me, avoiding my gaze. We're lying in bed together, my father is away hunting and the servants know not to enter. Gwen is staying with the Countess of Glastonbury for a few days, and we are thankful for the privacy. I hate betraying my wife but what I feel for Merlin is older than me; it is as old as time, something I cannot control. We are destined for each other, the Protector and the Sorcerer, two sides of the same coin. Yet now he will not face me, something is wrong. "Merlin, what is it?"

"I- I have to go. I am needed." He sits up, I grab his hand.

"What? What do you mean, needed?"

"I have to go. I have to go." I spin him around to face me and our eyes lock together. I can see past the lifelessness now; I see panic, fear. He is pleading with me, not to let him go, but to make him stay. I cling to him.

"Merlin, this isn't you. What is happening? I won't let you go." He is rocking against my chest, I can feel him sobbing but his voice remains the same.

"I have to go. I have to go."

"Never," I whisper. I will never let him be taken from me. Suddenly I am throw back against the headboard by Merlin's magic. His eyes scream for my help as his body carries him out the door. My eyes droop shut and my love is dragged away.

Arthur jerks awake. Those dreams, they keep coming back. Memories that aren't memories. That feeling of familiarity he can't seem to shake. He looks at the clock and spring out of bed. It's nearly 7. He needed to pick up Gwen. _Well fuck_.

Arthur had never prepared for a night out so quickly in his life. With a quick glance at his hair on the way out, he ran to his car to pick up his soon to be ex-girlfriend. Dread coiled in his stomach as he pulled up outside Gwen's house and made his way up her driveway. He barely rang the doorbell when the front door was flung open and a blur of satin and soft skin jumped into his arms. She was light enough for him to carry without any problem, but the weight of his guilt was a much heavier load and he gently put her down.

"Arthur! I missed you." Gwen was wearing a new dress and she is so beautiful it nearly hurts. Yet Arthur found he was not attracted to her in the same way he had been. Her beauty was objectifiable, he just didn't love her anymore. _I need to end this soon. Over dinner_, he promised himself. So he let her kiss him, disgusted at his inability to push her away.

Gwen chatted away the whole drive to the restaurant, Arthur made the appropriate sounds of agreement. His hands were sweating and he was in desperate need of a drink. When they reached the restaurant, Gwen excused herself, presumably to check her makeup. A quick smile at the waitress got him the brandy he craved and he was practically shaking with nerves. _When the food comes_.

The dessert menus came and went, yet Arthur still hadn't found the balls to break the bad news. He knew the longer he waited, the worse the outcome would be, but he just couldn't do it. _In the car_.

They pulled up at Gwen's house and Arthur was being led up the stairs. _Fuck fuck fuck_. They entered Gwen's room, she must have had her housekeeper light some candles. Gwen sat down on the bed, and when she pulled him in for the kiss he finally snapped.

"Gwen, we need to talk," he blurted. She pulled away and there was fury in her eyes.

"I knew it. I knew it! One week, Arthur. One fucking week. You couldn't keep it in your pants for a WEEK!"

"Gwen please-"

"Don't you dare! Who is she, some blond with a big chest and an expensive car? Are you that desperate to get rid of me, shagging the first slag you find in your new school," she spat.

"Gwen! Listen to me. There's no... other girl. I just... it just doesn't feel right anymore. It hasn't for a while now." He wouldn't tell her about Merlin. He had only told Morgana because she wouldn't have left him alone unless she discovered who his "mystery lover-boy" was.

"I... Arthur, I love you."

"I know you do, Gwen. I just- I can't... I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry." Gwen turned away.

"It's best if you go," she said in a small voice.

"I really am sorry."Arthur stood up slowly and made his way out of the house. He prayed she didn't call out to him. She didn't.

Merlin's POV

It had been a long, but enjoyable day. Gaius had taken him into town to buy some new clothes, he had received a pay raise during the week and was feeling generous. Merlin was grateful, he knew Gaius didn't have much. Taken in his orphaned nephew had not been the best financial decision, but Gaius always said he didn't care. He couldn't let Merlin go to a home, he was family. Gaius had no other family.

After a comfortable meal together, they returned to the house and Merlin settled down on the couch to watch the Avengers. Again. The film was nearly at its end when his phone rang and he nearly had a heart attack at the unknown number displayed on the screen. No one but Will and Freya ever called him, and his new friends' numbers were all saved. _Who the fuck could that be_?

Arthur's POV

Getting Merlin's number had been difficult, but not impossible. He remembered Perci was dating that Elena girl, and a series of brief phone calls later led to him acquiring Merlin's mobile number. _Here goes nothing_. The dial-up tone echoed around his thumping head as he waited for the boy to pick up the damn phone.

Merlin's POV

"He- hello?"

"Merlin!" The voice on the other end was familiar and almost slurred.

"Arthur?"

"The one and only. How're you holding up, Sweet-Cheeks?" Merlin winced at the pet name.

" You've been drinking, haven't you?"

"So what if I have?"

"I'm guessing dinner with Gwen didn't go so well."

"Ding ding ding! Fifty points to Griffindor!"

"Arthur... are you driving?"

"I might be."

"Pull over right now!"

"Yes mother." Merlin heard the engine in the background slow to a stop.

"Where are you?"

"Outside The Dungeon."

"A club, Arthur? Is that really a good idea?"

"It's an excellent idea! And you're coming out to meet me." Merlin's eyes widened.

"What? No!"

"Oh yes! Tell you what, if you come out to meet me, you don't even have to stay. You can just drive me home like the Mother Hen you are." Merlin rolled his eyes. Gaius was already in bed, he needed to be up early for his next shift tomorrow. He would never notice Merlin was gone. _Fuck it._

"Fine. But you'll owe me one."

"Oh trust me," Arthur's voice went low and Merlin shivered, "I will. You won't regret it." That was motivation enough for Merlin to hang up and get a move on. The bus to that part of town only came once an hour and if he hurried he might make it.

Arthur's POV

Merlin turned up looking slightly alarmed at his surroundings. He must have never been in a club before. Arthur smiled. His night was improving already. He called over for a round of shots as he lanky boy moved through the crowd.

"Arthur! How was Gwen?"

"Pretty upset," he shrugged. "She'll get over it." The bartender came back with the shots.

"Arthur, you're already slashed. How much have had to drink since you called."

"Barely anything!" The bartender caught Merlin's eye with a gestured that seemed to say _too much_.

"Arthur, we're leaving."

"One round, Merlin!" Arthur gave him a pleading look. "Please? For me?" Merlin sighed.

"Fine, one round." Arthur grinned. _Too easy_.

Merlin's POV

One round quickly turned into two, two into three and Merlin lost count after four. The drinks kept coming and coming, Merlin couldn't seem to stop. He needed to let loose and grinding against Arthur certainly seemed to be helping. Their breaths were hot on each others faces and their hips moved together in sync. Surrounding clubbers watched enviously as Arthur devoted every ounce of his attention to the raven-haired boy in his arms. Merlin felt wanted, he felt needed. And oh hell did he fucking loved it. When the song ended Arthur leaned forward and whispered into his ear, making Merlin shiver.

"You want to get out of here?"

"Fuck yes. Taxi?"

"On it." He handed Merlin his credit card. "Code is 9329, you settle the tab and I hail a taxi." Content spread through Merlin's chest, warm and fuzzy. Arthur trusted him with his credit card. It may not have seemed like much, but to a boy who grew up with very little this was a huge step.

"Got it," he whispered and Arthur wink as he turned to leave.

Arthur's POV

In no time he found them a cab and they were heatedly kissing in the backseat. Things were getting handsy too, but the driver was having none of that.

"Not in my cab, lads! Do whatever you want in your bedroom but this is a chastity zone." Merlin blushed and buried his head in Arthur's shoulder, who just smirked. This wasn't the first time he'd been told off for messing around in a cab. He kept to himself for the rest of the journey, but Merlin's head stayed on his shoulder. He didn't complain.

When they pulled up to his house, the lights were off. He happened to know that Uther wouldn't be coming home until the next day, which meant they had the house all to themselves. _Exciting_.

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**AN: I'm sorry for leaving it here but I just hit a bit of a metaphysical brick wall. Next chapter will have some smutty smutty and the following will FINALLY BE ADVANCED SOCIOLOGY PRAISE THE LORD FUCKING FINALLY. I love you all, please forgive me.**


	12. An Open Letter to the Reader

**AN: Hello loyal reader. I'm sorry if you were excited by the prospect of a new chapter. My computer deleted around half of the latest chapter and the writer's block has kicked in. I am unsure if I will manage to deliver another chapter this week. BUT FEAR NOT! I would not leave you so unsatisfied. I have written a very brief Doctor/Master OneShot which you can check out on my profile. I love you all and beg for your forgiveness.**

**Best Wishes,**

**-SuperWhoLock Shipper**


	13. Chapter 12: Shots and Sex Heal All part2

**AN: PRAISE THE LORD FOR IT IS COMPLETE. This chapter just didn't want to come out. I'm sorry to those of you who didn't want to read my pathetic attempt at at a peace-making gift but it was the best I could do. Here, have some smut. It's on me**

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They fumbled into the empty house, unable to keep their hands off each other. Arthur flicked a light switch and they made their way up the stairs towards Arthur's room. Merlin had no time to admire the decor, he only had eyes for the boy who struggled to mount the stairs with his tongue still in Merlin's mouth.

"Merlin," Arthur panted, "I told Morgana."

"It's ok," he replied, running his hands over Arthur's biceps, "I'm going to tell Will and Freya. No one else."

"No one else," Arthur agreed and they continues their passionate ascent. Now was not the time for talking.

When they reached Arthur's room they threw themselves down on the double bed, still locked onto each other. They ripped frantically at each other's clothes, uncoordinated yet totally in sync. Merlin undid Arthur's belt and began to desperately stroke his cock. Arthur moaned and bit into his pale shoulder, causing Merlin to shudder with pleasure. Just the noises his lover was making was driving Merlin to his breaking point. He needed to act fast.

"Arthur... I need-"

"Shhh," whispered Arthur. "I'll take care of you." And that he did. Arthur pulled freed Merlin's cock and they boy gasped as he took it in his mouth.

"Arthur... Arthur! Oh Arthur!" Arthur hummed around Merlin's cock, a finger reaching out to stroke his balls. Merlin was gasping, moaning, calling out. Arthur took him deeper and deeper until he looked up into Merlin's eyes and pushed him over the edge with one, lustful look. Merlin came down his throat and Arthur took it all in. Merlin had never seen anything so hot.

Arthur's POV

Watching Merlin become undone had done terrible things to Arthur and he was already leaking precome. He needed him, he needed Merlin. Merlin was panting, coming down from his high, and Arthur's eyes widened when he saw that he boy was already hardening once again. _Stamina of a goddamn horse_. Arthur fucking loved him. He loved his cock, his eyes, the way he moaned Arthur's name and the way he would pull him tight like he would never let go.

"Merlin, can I-" Merlin silenced him with a slightly come-stained finger. He grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and moved their hips together, grinding against him.

"I need you," he rasped, and that was all Arthur had to hear.

Arthur was familiar enough with gay sex to know that them not needing lube was not normal, but he wasn't one to argue with a good thing. Merlin's body seemed to mould to fit his; wide enough to take him in, but tight enough to drive Arthur insane.

"Merlin, so fucking tight Merlin..."

"Move, Arthur. Oh please Arthur, move please." Arthur was happy to comply, rocking back and forth, thrusting in to find Merlin's prostate. When he found it, the noises his lover made could put any pornstar out of a job. He screamed Arthur's name like a prayer, not caring if Uther walking in that very second. They were the only two people in the universe, staring into the depths of each other's eyes, coming together in glorious unity.

Merlin's POV

He was awaken by someone shaking him frantically. He was curled up with Arthur, sticky and content. His lover's chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm and Merlin wondered how he had ever gotten this lucky. Then that shaking started.

"Monsieur Pendragon! Monsieur you must wake!" Merlin felt Arthur rouse and a hand reached down to stroke his hair.

"What is it, Marie?" Arthur suddenly seemed to understand something and sat up. Merlin winced and the harsh movement and Arthur shot him an apologetic look. "What time is it?"

"It is midday, monsieur. Your papa is home!" Merlin was jerked awake with panic.

"What? Shit! Shit shit shit." Arthur looked terrified. Merlin guessed he probably did too. Marie, one of Arthur's maids, began to throw clothes at him. She was pretty; blond hair and green eyes. She shoved Arthur towards the bathroom.

"You shower. I will bring friend out the back," she said in broken English. Arthur turned toward Merlin and yanked him into a passionate kiss before whispering an "I love you" into his ear and scampering off towards the bathroom. Merlin had no time to clean himself, he simply through his clothes on and followed the maid out of the room.

"There is staff stair this way. You follow." She led his to a smaller staircase in the far right of the house. They bustled quietly down the stairs, praying they didn't meet and other members of staff on the way down. Eventually they reached the back door and Marie threw him a fiver to buy a bus ticket before he left. Once he left the Pendragon estate he slowed to a walk and reflected on his night. Even Uther's sudden appearance couldn't take away from the heaven he had found in Arthur's bed. Then he saw the missed calls from Freya and groaned. _Perfect, the inquisition begins_.

Arthur' POV

He was in the shower when he heard Uther make his way towards Arthur's room. He prayed Marie had changed his sheets. Judging by the lack of shouting coming from this father, Arthur assumed she had.

"Arthur?"

"Yes father?" he called out from the shower.

"I have spoken to Mordred's father. They will be joining us for a meal this evening. I expect you to be present." Arthur tried not to groan. _Mordred. Fucking perfect_. "Arthur?"

"Yes father."

"Good. We shall speak later." Arthur waited until he was gone before punching the tilled bathroom wall. Mordredd was the last person he needed to see.

Merlin's POV

Will and Freya were waiting outside his door when he turned up. Fuck. He had hoped he would have time to wash up but apparently this was not his lucky morning.

"Merlin!" Freya ran into a hug and held it from a few seconds before pushing back and staring accusingly. "You smell like a bar cloth. Where the hell have you been?"

"Out," he mumbled, eyes down-cast.

"And your hair! Your clothes! You look like you've been..." Her eyes grew large with sudden realisation. "Merlin, have you been-"

"What, no!"

"He has!" cackled Will. "Look at his face. Merlin got lucky!"

"Oh my god, Merlin! You have to tell me EVERYTHING." Merlin groaned.

"That's what I was afraid of."

**Later**

The three of them sat around the telly, eating ice cream and watching Doctor Who. Merlin had just finished the story of his drunken escapades with a student of Camelot Private, minus one detail; his mystery boy's name.

"Wow." Freya was stunned. Will slapped him on the back.

"Didn't think you had it in you. Congrats, mate."

"So this was the first time you and this guy had sex."

"Yes," said Merlin, almost too fast. Freya's eyes narrowed, but she pushed it no further.

"So who was it?" Merlin took a deep breath.

"You're going to judge me for this. Before you say anything, let me tell you that he is different. He's not like you think he is and I need you both to not freak out." He stared down at the bowl on his lap before deciding to get it over with. "Arthur Pendragon."

Arthur's POV

Marie knocked on his door to inform him that his (now ex) friend had arrived and that his father wanted him downstairs immediately. She met his eyes as he left the room and he gaze was sympathetic. He sighed and trudged down the staircase like it pained him to do so, which it did.

"Arthur!" Mordred did not seem so much happy as amused at Arthur's presence. "Why didn't you tell us you were taking the highroad?" Arthur shrugged and Uther glared at him. Gloria came out of the dining room and informed him that their meal was ready to be served. Morgana was already sitting at the table and Arthur would be damned if couldn't make out the faintest of bite marks on her shoulder. He hopped Uther didn't catch sight of it. He made a subtle gesture and she shifted her cardigan slightly. Their father must have forced her to wear it, Morgana would normally rather die than wear a cardigan. Various members of staff began to serve their meal and Arthur prayed for it to be brief.

Merlin's POV

Will just seemed confuse, Freya was angry. She was pacing back and forth, trying to make sense of what she had been told.

"You're telling me you went to a club, got drunk and had sex with Arthur Pendragon. The same Arthur Pendragon you're sharing a room with. The same Arthur Pendragon who spread rumours that you were a prostitute and stuck picture of you having sex all over the school. The same Arthur Pendragon who, not one week ago, you hated?"

"That was Mordred," he mumbled.

"What?"

"It was Mordred who said those things and posted the pictures."

"Well Arthur helped! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I don't know!" He took a deep calming breath. "I don't know, ok? It just feels right." Will put a hand on his shoulder.

"Merlin, I've known you as long as I can remember, since you moved here after your mum died. I know you better than anyone. I'm not pretending to understand why you're doing this, but I trust your judgement and I know that it's your decision. I just don't want him to hurt you again."

"He won't, Will. I promise." Freya looked at him.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes, Freya. He does." She sighed.

"Well that's it then. God knows you deserve to be happy."

"So... you're not angry?"

"No, we're not, mate. We love you, we respect your choices. But if he breaks your heart I'll break his face." Merlin laughed.

"Fair deal." Freya pulled them both in for a hug and Merlin felt warmth spread through his chest. _Everything's going to be ok_.

Arthur's POV

The table was silent, cold. Dishes came and went, Arthur paid no attention to what he was eating. He just wanted the whole thing to be over. Mordred kept staring at him, it was unnerving. Arthur struggled to remember why they had once been friends. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they had been ruling over Camelot Secondary, pulling fit birds and tormenting Merlin. _Merlin_. The name made Arthur's heart ache. He couldn't bear thinking about the horrible things he and Mordred had said and done to the raven-haired boy. Now Arthur would d anything to keep him safe, especially from Mordred.

"So Arthur," asked the boy in question. "How is Private treating you?" Arthur shrugged again.

"Fine," he mumbled.

"It's not the same without you around. Or Emrys." Arthur' neck snapped up and they stared at each other. "He transferred too. Heard you two are bunking together." Uther took an interest.

"Who is this Emyrs boy? A friend?" Mordred's father snorted.

"The boy lives with Doctor Wilson. He's Balinor Dragonson's son." Uther's eyes darkened.

"Emrys... that was that Hunith girls name."

"Yes. She fell pregnant before Balinor was sent to Vietnam. He died before the boy was born and he took his mother's name. She was killed in an accident when the boy was young and Wilson took him in. A stupid decision. He can barely look after himself." Uther was frowning deeply. Arthur wished they would change the subject, but Mordred had taken an interest.

"Did you know his parents sir?"

"We attended Camelot Private together. Scholarship students, the pair of them. Got in on pity pleas, they were Kilgharrah's sham of an extra class. Advanced Sociology or some similar nonsense. They were an embarrassment to the school." Mordred's father nodded in agreement and Morgana gave Arthur a sympathetic look.

"Look at you lot, gossiping like old women." She rolled her eyes and Arthur hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, Uther was on a rule.

"What is the boy like? As bad as his parents I suppose." Mordred grinned.

"Worse, I imagine. He is a homosexual."

"Well, any child of Dragonlord's is bound to be corrupted." Uther's neck turned sharply to face Arthur. "You are sharing a room with him?"

"Yes father," replied Arthur in a small voice. He knew where this was going.

"It is a disgrace! People of his perversion shouldn't be allowed to share rooms. They shouldn't even be let into the school. It's a bloody disgrace. They commit abominations on school property." He looked deep into Arthur's eyes. "You stay away from that boy, do you hear me? If he touches you, I imagine you know how to deal with it..." Arthur throat was dry. He thought of the "abominations" they had committed on Uther's own property. He hoped his father couldn't see the shame on his face.

"Yes father. I'll um clear the table."

"Arthur, the staff-"

"I'll help." He stood up and grabbed a plate before his father could argue. As he left the room, he could hear Uther ranting about gays wanting more rights, gays wanting to get married, gays wanting to adopt. He pretended he couldn't feel the tears spilling down his cheeks.

* * *

**AN: Fucking finally. Next chapter is Advanced Sociology. Are you excited? I'm excited.**


	14. Chapter 13: Fall of the Wall

**AN: This is it guys. You ready? I don't think you are. Oh well, on with the story?**

* * *

Arthur kept replaying the image of the look on his father's face when he talked about Merlin. Uther was a raging bigot, how the hell was Arthur going to ever tell him? He would be thrown out, written out of the will. Uther wouldn't stand by a gay son, even if it meant passing the empire onto Morgana. Who was also "corrupted". _God, we Pendragons are a mess_. He hadn't spoken for the rest of the evening and avoid Mordred as well as he could. He excused himself to his room as early as possible and slept without texting Merlin. He couldn't face speaking to him after the things his father had said.

_Arthur's dream_

I'm pacing frantically. My head throbs and I feel like shit. Guinevere watches me nervously.

"He will come back, Arthur." I turn to her, unable to contain my anger.

"You don't know that! You didn't see him! You didn't..." My anger crumbles into grief and he collapsed onto the bed, heaving dry sobs. My wife runs a comforting hand through my hair. _Not Merlin_.

"Shhh, my love. All will be well." Her touch feels alien, unfamiliar. I pull away. Her eyes harden. "Arthur, I understand your sorrow, but you must compose yourself. You are a price, he is a servant. What would your father think if he saw you?"

"To hell with my father! Merlin is so much more than that." There is fire in Guinevere's eyes now.

"That much I know, **sire**!" She spits the word. "You think I don't notice? The way he looks at you, the way you look at him? The way you go hunting and he comes back limping? I stay out of your business, I pay no head to your perversion. What more do you want from me, Arthur? I love you enough not to betray you, to not retaliate for yours." She goes quiet and I look up at here.

"Guinevere," I whisper. "I'm sorry." She breaths deeply.

"I know you are, Arthur. I am too. I didn't mean that about Merlin, I know how important he is to you. It's just that-" She falters, then seems to make a decision. "We have another problem. Not a immediate as Merlin's disappearance, but one none the less." I reach out to take her hand and she closes her eyes. "I am with child."

Merlin's POV

Merlin awoke in a tangle of limbs. He and his comrades had fallen asleep in a pile and he supposed the cuddling was inevitable. Just like the good of days. He smiled and extracted himself from Will surprisingly comforting death grip and searched the floor for his heard his friends grumble as he opened the curtains to enable visibility after tripping over the bong Freya had left lying around. Memories were flooding back to him and his smile grew wider with fond recollection. He eventually found his phone on top of the cupboard along with what looked like an empty takeout carton. Oh how he missed these night.

There was a thump as Will rolled forward and went flying out of the bed. Merlin tried not to laugh, but sobered when he saw the panic on Will's face.

"What is it?"

"Time," he rasps, voice scratchy from the night before. Merlin looks down at his phone and sees the cause for Will's coronary. 4PM and six missed calls from Gauis.

"SHIT!"

Arthur's POV

He spent the day feeling rather sorry for himself. He simply wandered around the house aimlessly, lost in his own thoughts. Uther would never accept a gay son, Arthur would never leave Merlin. What the hell was he going to do?

His father did not see him off, only Morgana stood to wave as the driver brought him back to Camelot Private. He tried not to let that hurt as he sank into the soft leather seats. _At least I'm going to see Merlin_.

This ride was drawn out and Arthur felt like sleeping. He was restless from the persistent bizarre dreams that had been plaguing him, the ones that felt painfully familiar. He hoped they would stop, they were eerie and tiring. Plus the creeped him out. Like, a lot.

Merlin's POV

To say Gauis had been unhappy wouldn't have done the situation justice. Merlin received a lecture of epic proportions during the drive to the school. His uncle had been worried, and rightfully so. The last thing Merlin needed was to get into trouble having only attended for one week. He needed to keep his place, this school was his lifeline. He couldn't afford to screw it up. _No more mad nights on Saturdays_.

They pulled up at the gates and Gauis gave him a final stern once-over. He hugged his elderly uncle before scampering off to find Arthur. Being away from him hurt more than it should a few days into a relationship. Merlin tried to ignore the faint pang of confusion over his close bond with Camelot's golden boy. He just wanted to enjoy himself.

Arthur's POV

He was unpacking his things when a pair of hand wrapped around him and he fell back into a comforting, familiar embrace. He knew who it was without turning around, he could **feel** Merlin. The way he stood, the way he breathed, he feel of his arms. It felt like home, it nearly hurt how good it felt to have Merlin enveloping him like he would never let go. Arthur wouldn't mind, he could stand like this forever.

"Miss me?" a soft voice whispered in his ear.

"How could I not?" Almost reluctantly, he turned and two pairs of blue eyes met. Spark passed through them and Arthur fell into Merlin's delicious gaze. Merlin leaned in closer.

"20 minutes until supper."

"I can think of something to pass the time"

And pass the time they did.

Merlin's POV

Sunday night passed much like the evening, and Merlin wondered how the hell they could keep at his. Surely they couldn't have sex more than once **everyday**, especially not within an hour of each go. Apparently their libidos didn't agree. At free period early Monday morning left them in a supply cupboard, at it like rabbits. Merlin loved spending time with his new friends, but sex with Arthur seemed to come first. Not that he minded. As he fixed himself, Arthur leaned against the shelving, spent.

"Don't leave," he whined, Merlin smiled a the playful desperation in his boyfriend's (_boyfriend, **boyfriend**_) voice.

"You know I have class now", he says reluctantly, buckling his belt.

"That extra one with Kilgharrah?"

"That's the one. Advanced Sociology. So I can learn to 'integrate'" He rolls his eyes. He got it, he had been bullied. But it wasn't as if he'd shut himself off or gone through a mental breakdown. _But you did, Merlin. You have scars to remind you of that_. He shuddered. He never wanted that to happen again, maybe this lesson wasn't such a bad idea. He leaned forward and gave Arthur a chaste peck on the lips before grabbing his bicep. "Later princess." With a wink and a cheeky grin, Merlin turned away.

Maybe he should have stayed a few seconds longer. Maybe he should have kissed him more deeply, studied his face, memorised ever line and contour. Maybe he should have called out an "I love you" as he left. Maybe, because that was the last time Merlin Emyrs, broken teenage boy, laid eyes on Arthur Pendragon, ex-bully and heartthrob. They would look back for years to come, longing for more. Longing for that innocent simplicity that was their precious moment as two boys in love. Before the wall came down.

* * *

The classroom was bigger than it should have been for five students. Scratch that, it was bloody massive. The walls were bare and there were no windows. Merlin would be damned if the door didn't feel like it was reinforced. _Well this just got weirder_.

Only the three girls were present, Kilgharrah and Cenred had yet to show. Merlin studied their faces; Alice seemed inexplicably excited, Nimeuh looked impassive and slightly bitter, Morgause looked poised and wary. He had learned she was in a relationship with Arthur sister. Merlin didn't have many opinions on the girls being attractive, but he could see why people would be drawn to her icey beauty. Despite that there was genuine warmth in her eyes and Merlin tried not to form a predispostioned judgment.

The door burst open and Cenred swaggered in. Clearly this was his territory. Kilgharrah followed him in, he must have been dishing out yet another lecture.

"Ah! I see we are all present. Good, good. You have all met our new student, Merlin, I presume." The group nodded and Cenred pulled up a chair beside him, grinning wolfishly. -2Excellent, then we'll begin."

The old man pulled out an old projector and the lights turned off. Merlin barely had time to process that no one had pressed a switch when the presentation started.

"We live in a golden age of technology, of acceptance of new things. Old prejudices are being abandoned with the dying elderly and their fickle way. There remains however, a people who will never be fully accepted in our society. Now, all but one of you are familiar with the information I am about to unveil. Remember the disbelief, the denial you felt upon hearing it for the first time. I ask you to aid me in helping the latest addition to our to understand the truth." He clicked a button and an image of the stained glass window in the Mess Hall. "The Protector and his Sorcerer. Camelot's oldest legend, the heritage of our school." He paused. "A true story."

Merlin froze.

"What?"

"Not a legend, history. The greatest sorcerer the world had ever known defeated the shadow an wandered the Earth for thousands of years, waiting for the Protector's return. He has seen humanities every struggle, fought our wars, kept us safe. And through all his life he was prosecuted, for humanity has a natural hatred for magic. While many can be accepting, the majority have an instinct to kill. When the witch trials in Salem were finally halted, the Sorcerer cast a powerful spell that still thrives. All sorcerers are born with a mental wall, their magic is locked away. This keeps them save, hidden. When they come of age they are sent to an elder, who will tear down the wall and unleash their magic. While many were upset, outraged even, at the Sorcerer's decision, mortals eventually forgot magic and our sufferings came to an end. But the centuries continued to pass and the Sorcerers sufferings only magnified. For the Sorcerer **is** magic, he cannot die. No matter how he tried, he was doomed to live on without the Protector, who still has not returned. He founded this school, not only as a true place of learning but as a safe haven for his kind. Then he discovered a spell, an immensely powerful spell, that let his spirit pass on into another plain until the coming of the Protector. And so he did, and the School awaits their return in Camelot's time of need. But that, my children, is where you come in." Merlin's mind was racing, nothing made sense. _Not happening, not happening_. Kilgharrah met his eyes. "You are all our legacy. You are sorcerers. And we, Merlin my boy, are going to tear down your wall."

* * *

When Merlin had started laughing, slightly hysterically, no one seemed surprised. They looked at him knowingly, he quieted down when he began to conclude they were being serious.

"It's alright now to believe us," said Alice gently. "I didn't."

"I certainly didn't," agreed Morgause.

"I did," grinned Cenred. "Never was one to argue with a good thing." Nimeuh said nothing.

"You're definitely taking it better than I did," continued Alice. "I started crying. I thought I'd been sent to some psycho cult-school. But," she smiled, "I learned the truth. Magic is real, Merlin. I have it, we have it."

"Let's prove it," said Nimeuh. This was the first time Merlin had heard her speak.

"I second the motion!" Cenred was excited, enthusiastic. Merlin couldn't deny his curiousity, so he sat back into his chair with a defiant look and said nothing.

Morgause stood up and pulled out a knife from God knows where. Merlin's eyes grew wide as she raised it to her forearm and pressed it to her skin. She carved a deep red cut into her flesh and Merlin flinched. She didn't blink. She was **smiling**.

"I don't feel it," she explained. Her skin seemed to glow slightly gold around the cut, like her nerves were alight. Alice moved towards her and placed her hand over the cut. Morgause closed her eyes and emitted a small, pleased moan as the cut sealed shut, not even leaving a scar. She stood back and smiled at Merlin.

"I've healed it" Merlin's head was spinning. Someone coughed behind him and he turned towards Nimeuh... _hang on, that isn't Nimeuh. That... that's Mila Kunis_.

"Realistic, isn't it?" said Mila as she melted into Nimeuh. "Comes in handy in clubs." Merlin was beginning to rethink his original judgment when Nimeuh suddenly paled and bolted across the room into Cenred's arms. She clung to him and nuzzled his neck, strangely docile. Merlin raised his eyebrows when Nimeuh jumped back and changed again. She looked like... like somnekind of dragon-human lovechild. It was beautiful and terrifying and even Cenred stood back, his grin fading. "I told you not to do that," it snarled, and Cenred had no time to react before it pounced forward. Merlin nearly screamed when it took a chunk out of Cenred's shoulder. Cenred wasn't as successful at keeping quite and Kilgharrah grabbed Nimeuh and pulled her off him. Alice raced forward and began to fix his wound. Morgause surveyed the scene with a blasé expression, and Merlin realised this must not have been the first time this had happened. Blood was running down the now human Nimeuh's face and Kilgharrah gripped her sternly.

"You need to stop biting Cenred. One of these days he won't heal properly."

"Then tell him to keep his goddamn magic to himself," she growled. Cenred, now whole, sat up and glared.

"That hurt, bitch."

"Really? I went easy on you. I decided against poisonous spit." Her grin mirrored Cenred's from earlier and he swallowed visibly.

"I'd have you purring like a kitten before you even got close."

"Big talk for a guy who just had flesh torn out of his shoulder." She turned to face Merlin. "So he breaking the new guy's wall or what?"

"That was the plan, before this unpleasantness," scolded Kilgharrah before gesturing to an old wooded chair with words Merlin couldn't read carved into it. "Sit here, will you Merlin?" He was shaking. _It's real. This is real. I have magic? How_? Then Merlin's head cleared. People had always hated him. Even before the Gwaine incident. Apparently that was how things were destined to be, him verses the world. What was the harm in doing it with freaking powers?

"Let's do this."

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**AN: It's amazing I even manage to type this considering I can barely see through my tears right now. Supernatural season gr-FUCK YOU finale was yesterday so I am, as they say, an emotional wreck. Possibly no chapter next week, holidays and all that. I might fit one in next weekend but we shall see. I also have a Supernatural wink!kink oneshot planned to help those of you who are also in a state of grief. But oyu know what guys? Magic. Mother-fucking magic. This gon' be fun.**


	15. Chapter 14: Hello Again, My Old Friend

They strapped him into the chair and he tried to keep still. He could feel his heart thumping, pounding blood loudly around his body. _Calm thoughts, calm thoughts_.

"All sorcerers have basic elemental magic," Kilgharrah said. Cenred's eyes flashed gold and the old mans glasses flung themselves off his head. The professor's eyes flashed in turn and the glasses flew back to their rightful place. Cenred glared at Kilgharrah who continued as if nothing was amiss. "However, each has a... a specialty if you will. Healing, shape-shifting, etcetera. Alice tells me you resisted her magic, this could be a sign of great power." Merlin was barely listening over the roar of blood in his ears. _I wish Arthur was here_. Then Kilgharrah began to speak.

His words were old, inhuman. Merlin knew he shouldn't have been able to understand the words; but they pulsed around him like electrical energy, so full of power and life. They flowed into him, speaking to his very conscious. His brain swelled and his eyes grew wide and gold.

"...compelling you to fall, to let lose the secrets of the soul..."

The foundations of his mind were crumbling, being remade in glorious golden light. Merlin was fading, fading away into the depths of his own mind. A stranger was coming out of its cage and all Merlin could do was fade.

"...the powers of old, the blood of the Sorcerer..."

The stranger was getting stronger and stronger, filling Merlin's head with memories that weren't his. Old, old memories; thousands upon thousands on them. Emotions so strong they brought tears to his eyes and made his very soul weep.

"...living on in a new world, hope so bright..."

Fading away into that beautiful golden light. Gold like Arthur's soul, just and true. _Arthur_. It echoed around his mind. _Arthur Arthur Arthur_. His Arthur, his lover. My _Protector, my king_, whispered the stranger. _Let go, Merlin. Let go. Your time is long past. Dream of Arthur and let go_.

_I... I... no please, don't make me leave._

_Let go, my boy. Fade into that golden light. I'm so sorry, Merlin. But you have to let go_.

"...shining out from the darkness, a sorcerer is free."

Merlin let go. His mind exploded in golden light and the stranger became Merlin. The Sorcerer became Merlin, fusing together with their sorrows and love of their hero, their protector.

Arthur's POV

It hurt, oh god it hurt. He had been sitting in his room, thinking about Merlin and sighing like the girly sap he was. Then he pain started. The brain searing pain that was so painful he couldn't even scream. He just collapsed and convulsed and sobbed silently for help. His brain was pressing against his skull, pounding and scratching to get out. _Hurt hurts hurts make it stop make it stop please oh god Merlin Merlin Merlin help me Merlin oh please Merlin help me it hurts so much_. Kicking and clawing and screaming _let us out let us out let us out_. Memories, a life once cut short now demanding to be lived. Merlin, gasping, surrounded in golden light, reaching out to hold him. His arms enveloping him in a fleeting embrace before fading, fading away. _Let us out let us out let us out_.

_Merlin, oh Merlin don't leave me._

_Follow him follow him follow him let us out._

_No no no I can't go I can't._

_You can you can you must._

_No no no._

_Let us out let us out let us out we are you you are us let us out._

_Arthur._

_Merlin?_

_Arthur Arthur Arthur._

_I'm coming Merlin, I'm coming._

_Let us out._

Arthur let them out and followed Merlin into the golden light.

Merlin's POV

Darkness. All around him was darkness. Voices, calling out.

"Merlin? Merlin, are you alright?"

"Rise and shine, mate."

"Did it work? Merlin?"

He knew they weren't calling for him. They were calling for the Merlin they thought they knew. An echo, nothing more. A shell waiting it be filled. He opened his eyes, and for the first time in very long, he saw everything.

"Merlin, my boy! Welcome back." Kilgharrah smiled and then startled. "What... I can't be." He came closer and stared into Merlin's eyes. "How... how can it be?"

"It was my time."

"What's going on?" demanded Cenred. Kilgharrah swallowed.

"Merlin, well; Merlin is more powerful than originally assumed."

"More powerful than Nimeuh?" asked Morgause. She looked impressed.

"Much," Kilgharrah said quietly.

"What's his specialty then?" Cenred was impatient.

"Everything," Merlin said.

"Everything,"Kilgharrah echoed.

"That's not possible," said Alice. "The only way Merlin could do everything would be if he was-" Her eyes widened. "Is he? He's-"

"He is."

"He's who?"

"I am the Sorcerer. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find Arthur."

Arthur's POV

He could see everything. He could feel everything. Thousands of years of floating disembodied in Avalon. Now he had returned. He flexed his fingers, feeling the strength behind them. He was powerful, he was alive and he was free. He opened his sculpted mouth and let is newly claimed vocal chords sound out the two syllables he loved more than the world.

"Merlin."

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**AN: Short and sweet, you dig? Lots of complicatedness and angst on the way. Joys of being a writer, eh?**


	16. Chapter 15: It's All Coming Back

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to lastknownwriter, author of the amazing Destiel fic Freefall. Thank you. Thank you for everything.**

* * *

_"I can help you find your Sorcerer."_

_"Who are you?"_

_"A friend. A very powerful friend. I can help you."_

_"Do you know what happened to him?"_

_"His mind is being addled with. I can give you the means to return him, but you must be willing."_

_"Anything. Please, I'll do anything."_

_"Then open your mind to me, Arthur Pendragon. Let me in."_

All his memories were coming back. Thousands of years spent in calm silence were evaporating into those precious moment before his death. He could remember. He remembered everything.

_"Your kingdom is mine, Pendragon," says the Shadow. His face is ever-shifting, the only constant is the black aura that surrounds him. Merlin stands by his side, perfectly still. "Your Sorcerer is lost. He is mine now." A dark hand reaches out to stroke my lover, who leans into the touch, moaning softly. "Such a pretty little pet. We had so much fun after he left you, Pendragon. Fucked his pretty mouth nice and hard. Made him come just by thinking it. He's mine, as is Camelot. Your father's armies are no match for me now."_

_"Never, you hell-creature." I am fighting back tears, Princes do not cry in the face of an enemy. I am a Pendragon, I am strong. I have a goddess on my side. I close my eyes and reach out with everything I have. "Merlin."_

_His head jerks up. His eyes are wide any confused. "Merlin, come back to me."_

_"Stay," orders the Shadow. Merlin's eyes become crazed, my heart is breaking._

_"You love me Merlin, don't you remember? Come back to me." He is shaking, his mind is at war with itself._

_"You belong to me, Sorcerer. I am you master. Kneel for me." Merlin's knees begin to buckle and he falls at the Shadow's feet. "You see, 'Protector'?" he sneers, "He is mine."_

Arthur realised me was crying. He didn't want to remember this. Didn't want to recall with he had done.

_"Merlin," my voice is stronger now. I am reaching into his soul. He chokes back dry sobs. "You're mine, Merlin. Only mine. Come back to me. Come back to your," I falter, I don't want to say it, "To your master, Merlin. Come back." I can't stop the tears now. "I love you. I love you so much." I shut my eyes, hating myself. I open them, then wish I hadn't. He's crawling, crawling on his hands and knees towards me. The Shadow is calling him, but his eyes are fixed on me, tortured and broken. I'm sobbing loudly now, my beautiful powerful Sorcerer, reduced to this. "I love you, Merlin. I love you more than the fucking world." He reaches me and I pull him up. Our lips meet and Merlin is back. Oh oh Gods is he angry_.

Angry couldn't even begin to describe what he had seen. Fury had rolled out of him in endless waves, his power flaring to unbelievable levels. He had backed away in pure fear. He could see terror in the Shadow's black eyes.

_"You want my magic, Shadow?" His voice is like fire and ice intertwined in pure menace. "I'll show you magic." His powers become a tangible thing, I can see them. They blossom around him and they burn my eyes. "I'm going to destroy you, you puny spectre" The shadow is hissing in pain as that painful light reaches him. "You think you can control me? YOU THINK I CAN BE CONTROLLED?" Then the shadow is screaming, as is Merlin. A war cry for the heavens to hear; a glorious, horrific scream. His powers are other worldly and they kill the shadow with frightful ease. He is more powerful than I knew. He's the most powerful man on Earth. I love him, and now he's turning towards me_.

Merlin's POV

He walked through the empty Mess Hall, making his way towards his dorm. He wanted to avoid the corridors, he was not ready to speak to people yet. He needed to see Arthur first. His Arthur, the true Arthur. The one that window did no justice to.

_"You." I see nothing, I hear nothing. My power is the only thing in the world, it is all around me. But through it, his soul is visible. That beautiful soul. He has ruined me._

_No no no no_. All those thousands of wandering years were clearing and he could see that last day. That last minute. He stared at that stained glass window; the one of him clutching Arthur's lifeless body, of him killing the Shadow with a sword. _Wrong wrong wrong, lies lies lies. All lies_.

Arthur's POV

_I've broken him. His eyes are a pure solid gold, and there is a madness behind them I doubt has ever been seen. The Shadow and I, we broke him. His mind is in tatters._

_"Merlin." My voice contains no power, I have done enough damage already. "Merlin, I'm so sorry."_

_"You were in my head. You were both in my head."_

_"I know, Merlin. I had to."_

_"He made me do things. He had me kill people. He wanted me to kill you. He made me grovel before him and beg to kill you. He was in my head, his voice was so soft..."_

_"Merlin please, just let me-"_

_"Don't touch me!" His eyes bulge and his powers snap at me. "Your voice, it was just like him. So soft in my head." He steps closer. "You're just like him."_

_"No, Merlin I-"_

_"You're just like him." Those gold eyes narrow. How I long to see blue again. "My Arthur wouldn't do that. He would hurt me." Closer again. "I can see your soul, it's gold like Arthur's. But it's tainted. I can see black. Black like his."_

_"It's me, I sw-"_

_"It's spreading. The black, it's spreading. You're not Arthur." The magic hits me and I fall back in pain. "Not Arthur." Again, this time drawing blood. My face and chest and been slashed, like they've been clawed at. "Not Arthur." Then the power is all around me._

_I'm drowning, falling and burning all at one. Blood flows into my lungs and I can't scream. My eyes are blazing and my hands reach up to hold Merlin._

_"Please," I choke. The gold clears. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen._

_"Arthur?" His eyes break what is left of my shattered heart. "Arthur?"_

_The last thing I ever hear is a cry of pure anguish, of intangible pain and endless suffering. Of a broken man with a broken soul. A curse towards the highest heavens. A prayer, a command, a plea._

_"**ARTHUR**"_

Merlin's POV

He slinks up the back staircase, fighting throaty sobs. All those lies, the ones he told Guinevere, the ones he told the king, the ones he turned into false legends, the ones he told himself. All those years and nothing but lies, lies and pain. He tried to make things right. He saved people, he protected his kind, he protected mortals. Even when they beat rejected him, beat him, tried to kill him. Through it all he protected them, but that didn't change what he did. It didn't change the innocents he'd murdered when the fits came on. It didn't change lifetimes of blue-eyed blond strangers. It didn't change Arthur death. _It didn't change that you killed him_. The Protector broke the Sorcerer's mind, and the Sorcerer broke the Protector's body. _Now I can make things right_.

As he open the room of their dorm, something lunged out. He was tackled to the ground, but not attacked. The figure, all lean muscle and blond hair, clung to him. Held onto him, and began to rock back and forth. Before they knew it, they were both sobbing. Good thing no one was around.

"Merlin," one sobbed.

"Arthur," the other sobbed back. Who knows how long they stayed there, lying in the corridor, lost in each other's tearstained embrace. They forgave each other. They forgave themselves.

* * *

**AN: Yes, I know it's short; but it's exam week and this was a lot of effort. Opinions? Don't forget to do all the stuff I keep reminding you to do. You know you want to.**


	17. Chapter 16: Every Inch of Me

**AN: FUCKING FINALLY. I've had no tiiiiime *sobs*. But I'm here now, don't you fret. I'm hoping to finish this up by chapter 20, but you know me.**

**SUPER IMPORTANT; the world I have created is fictional. All historical events in this chapter have been twisted to suit my whims. Please don't message me about inaccuracies, I assure you that they are intentional. My world, my rules. Suck it up.**

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They didn't go to supper. They didn't go to friends rooms. Instead they lay together; with their eyes, hands and tongues they rediscovered every inch of each other. These bodies had been reared for them, the minds occupying them only temporary echoes of their true selves. Arthur's looked much the same; younger, but still strong and firm. His eyes were that same blue and his hair the same gold. Merlin's was not so well conditioned.

Merlin Emrys was the vessel of a broken sorcerer. It was only fitting he body would be the same. Scars circled his wrists and thighs, marking out each suffering on his skin. Each one carried that same invisible inscription: broken. Damaged. Pathetic. He hated himself, not just his skin, but his soul. It was blackened by the things he had done.

"Merlin," Arthur whispered. "You're beautiful. All of you." His mouth continued its ascent up Merlin's thigh.

"How can you say that? After everything. After what I did..."

"I love you, Merlin. Scars and all. You're perfect."

"What about the internal ones?" Arthur stopped, then positioned himself so they were face to face.

"Merlin," he sighed, " Tell me about those years."

"I don't think you want to know." Their hands interlinked.

"I think you need to talk. You've been alone for a long time, but I'm here now. Tell me, my love. I'm not going anywhere." Merlin sighed, and until late into the next morning, he spoke of those endless wandering years.

_Camelot, the Days of Magic_

_Her sobbing can be heard throughout the castle, but it is a whisper compared to the cry I let out not long before. It was that sound that alerted the knights, even Uther who was hunting many miles away, of the Princes death. Now Gwen is distraught and the King is missing. Arthur was his only son, and upon seeing the lifeless body he retreated to his chambers. There is nothing I can do. Some treat me as a hero for defeating the Shadow, other's a traitor. There are a few who believe I had a part in the murder of Arthur. These theories are dismissed, I am but a servant after all._

_By nightfall we learn that Uther has been taken ill. Ill with grief. As I sense his life slipping away, I flee Camelot. Gwen is with child, until the baby comes of age she will rule the Kingdom. I have already said goodbye my Prince, I never plan to return._

_England, 10th Century_

_Albion will never be. England is now a Kingdom, Camelot's glory is fading as Winchester become the capital. Son it will be no more than an ordinary town, a shade of what it once was. The Pendragons are already being forgotton; Arthur's last few generations have been weak and bigoted. There are unfit to rule, unworthy of their name. Æthelstan now rules, and socrcers have even less place under his rule than they did in the days of old. We are fleeing to Hibernia. While it is still unsafe, what with the Vikings, there are many like us who can help keep us safe. Our numbers grow smaller each passing day, we have no choice but to leave. I bid my home goodbye, and I do not look back._

_Ireland, 12th Century_

_200 years. Longer than I had expected, but shorter than I had hoped. I had found a real home here. Now I must flea, this time alone. The Normans are coming, but my people will be safe. The sorcerers here had welcomed us, protected us. Those I fled England with are dead, but their descendants are like my own children. I have remained unchanged since the day I left Camelot. Now I'm running again._

_It wasn't my fault. Though I pretend to be healed, what Arthur and the Shadow did to me cut me deep down. Worse than I knew._

_There was a boy (no, a man) who had such beautiful blue eyes. Blue like Arthur's. When he first offered to enter my bed, I could not turn him away. He was the celebrated beauty of the Irish sorcerers, when he turned 20 he would be sent to Tír na nÓg; the land beyond the sea where his beauty would live forever. He would never return. When I awoke on his final morning, I ruined everything._

_"I must leave, Merlin." My hand were in his soft hair. At these words everything changed._

_I couldn't see through the aura of my powers once again. I knew what was happening, but only in the back of my mind. I couldn't stop myself._

_"You're not leaving me. You're not leaving me again."_

_"Again?" His musical voice was low, afraid. "Of what do you speak, I have nev-" I wasn't listening. All I could see was Arthur._

_"Not leaving," I whispered. Then his beauty turned to dust and I was alone._

_They forgave me. How could they not? They knew I was damaged, even they didn't know exactly why. But they can't let me stay anymore. My people will be looked after, but I have to go. So that's what I'm doing, running away from my mistakes._

_The roads of Eastern Europe, 15th Century_

_Constantinople has fallen. I was barely been here 50 years after walking for so long. I thought to find rest , provided I hid my magic and preferences. Too long have my people been persecuted, but there is nothing I can do about it but keep to myself. The fits have been quiet for several decades, but I could still remember the face of the golden-haired man who had tried to rob me in order to save his starving family. He's with the other's now; and if the Gods ever grant me death those men will be my torturers. Arthur will oversea them all, and I will pay for my sins._

_I escaped before the Turks came for me. Now I am walking again, but something is different now. A curious little inventions has come into my possession. I believe it is called a Matchlock gun._

_I hold it to my lips and close my eyes. If the Gods are merciful, this will end my existence. I have tried poison, I have tried jumping, I have tried slitting my throat. Maybe this time, I think as I pull the trigger._

_It doesn't work of course._

_So on with my walk. I hear they're printing the first book in English, that is something to see. To Bruges it is then. That nice little brothel I like is on the way there._

_Colonial Massachusetts, 17th Century_

_This ends now._

_I came here to save my people, and that's what I'll do. Mortals and sorcerers alike have been slaughtered, I must protect them._

_I have more control over my powers now. I have not killed in many years. A vision of London, when I made the mistake of visiting England, flashes behind my eyes. Burning and burning. How I pinned the whole thing on some poor baker, whose only crime was living by some golden-haired harlot who had been too close when a fit came over me. _

_I spent the next few decades in penance. I tried a German monastery, celibacy seemed to keep me in control when I was strong enough to not find solace in someones bed; but now my people must be saved. The witch trials are coming to an end, I will see to it that none must suffer the same fate._

_The shield spreads out from my body, and I feel it envelope my surrounding. Growing until I can sense the heartbeat of every sorcerer, living and still to come. All those lives, all that hope. I protect them, I protect us all._

_End of the 19th Century_

_I have visited so many mortals these past hundred years. How I wished to warn Lincoln of his fate, but it is not my place to interfere. How interesting it had been, those nights spent discussing Human Nature with Marx. I watched the birth of George Bernard Shaw, and spent a night with Oscar Wilde. I gazed fondly at the first Summer Olympics, those mortals in all their skill and glory. I quietly did away with the Ripper and made sure H. H. Holmes stayed dead. __Yoshitoshi's Bloody Prints reminded me so much of horrors I had committed that I could not bear ensure him safe passage into the next world. I wept for Beethoven, his love for a woman of higher class bringing back so much pain. Those beautiful Brontë sisters with their beautiful words. I cursed the God's for their mistreatment of VanGogh, that man deserved so much more. I was honoured to meet such a man as Tesla, a greater mortal I have yet to meet. All those heroes and villains martyrs and dictators, ordinary men and mortals. My body is still young but I am old. How I long for it all to end. I would meet my damnation willingly, yet I don't even seem to deserve that. Oh, how the Gods are cruel._

_Hiroshima, 20th Century_

_Sometimes I hate mortals._

_Sometimes they disgust me. This is one of those times. I spent the both the wars in hiding in the Arctic Circle, knowing violence would bring on the fits. Now I walk through the once-streets of this place, healing those I can by and aiding the passage of the ones I can't. None of them will remember me, but I see the reverence in their eyes as they lose consciousness. They silent screams, the horror, the sorrow, the thanks. They think I am angel, I am anything but._

_Cruel mortals with all their dangerous toys, even this didn't kill me._

_Scotland, 20th Century_

_I found a way. It won't kill me, but it will let me rest. Hopefully let me heal. One day, it will let me see my love. But then again, when have the Gods ever given me what I want?_

Arthur's POV

He looked at Merlin, his beautiful powerful sorcerer. He could see his body relax having finally gotten all those years off his chest.

"You see now?" he whispered.

"I do see," Arthur whispered. "And I still love you. I will always love you."

"I love you too."

"Now," he said with a slow smile," Let me show you just how much I love you."

No sleeping was done that night.


	18. Chapter 17: Reconnecting with Reality

**AN: Oh god this is late. Write write write, and nothing comes out. I do love writing Elena and Alice though, so this was fun.**

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The rest of the week was difficult.

This was to be expected; after all, Arthur was an ancient prince from another millennia. Merlin was faring better, but even with his body's memories Arthur struggled to get along with this new world. Some of it he loved: fast food, football, internet porn. But other parts irritated him: other students' lack of respect, queuing, Cenred. Mainly Cenred.

"I don't trust him," he told Merlin one morning as they lay in bed together.

"I know he's a bit... intense, but just give him a chance, will you?"

"I don't like how he fawns over you, it's creepy."

"Jealous, are we?"

"Of him? Never." They kissed chastely. "Right, out of bed with you." Merlin made a noise of protest. "Don't give me that, up you get."

"Yu bstrd." Merlin's voice was muffled by the pillow he had his face buried in.

"I'll buy you breakfast on Sunday."

"You're on."

Merlin's POV

He still wasn't used to the stares. Alice and Cenred would near take their eyes off him as he ate. He could feel Nimeuh and Morgause's eyes from across the room. It was making him uncomfortable.

"I reckon we all go out this Friday, yeah?" Elena was chattering away, oblivious.

"I second that," agreed Lance.

"Sure," said Cenred, still not taking his eyes off Merlin. "Where're heading?"

"The Veil, that ok with you?"

"We'll never get in," scoffed Alice.

"Au contraire, Aly-Paly. Percy has gotten us on the list."

"Don't call me that. And how the hell did he manage that?"

"Well Val's been very cosy with Morgana Pendragon lately, and she basically runs the place. She's got the owner wrapped around her finger."

"Excellent, haven't had a good night out in a while," said Cenred. "Speaking of which, you been using the spliff I gave you, Merlin?"

"Not since last week. Arthur's always around, so..."

"You don't share it with him?" There was a strange glint in Cenred's eyes. Merlin hesitated. _Why don't I share it with him? I did it before. Why don't I just_- There was a sharp pain in Merlin's temple. _No. I'm not sharing it with him. I can't_.

"Nah," he shrugged. For some reason the idea of sharing it with Arthur didn't sit well in his mind. The last time they shared it they had sex. _Wait a minute, why did we have sex_? Then it hit him. It was haze magic.

The other's continued to chat amongst themselves, but Merlin reached out with his mind.

_Alice._

_Merlin? Oh god, what's happening? You're..._

_Listen to me. Did you know that Cenred was selling haze hemp to the others?_

_I... yes, I did._

_And you didn't stop him?_

_I tried! Cenred is... difficult to reason with._

_You tried to warn me, didn't you?_

_Not warn you! Just... it's fine, Merlin. I didn't know how powerful you were. You'll be fine_.

Merlin thought about that. Maybe Cenred didn't know the haze was his weakness. Best to keep it that way. Merlin was the most powerful sorcerer who ever lived, and Cenred was his friend. He hoped to keep things that way.

Arthur's POV

The boys at his table reminded him so much of night from his time. They were strong, honourable, loyal. And they didn't beat around the bush.

"Heard you broke it off with that Gwen bird." Arthur nodded. The memory of it hurt.

"Shit, mate. Sorry about that."

"It's cool, forget about it." Modern English still felt bizarre on his tongue.

"Fear not, brah. I come with a solution!" Valiant looked pleased with himself. "This Friday, night out at the Veil."

"You got us in?" exclaimed Elyan.

"I said I would, didn't I? Your sister is fucking amazing." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Please don't." He felt an odd pang in his chest. He hadn't seen his sister since the... incident. Would she be able to tell there was something different about him.

"Just saying. You'll be thanking me when you get some on Friday."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say." _I doubt it_.

Merlin's POV

"Cenred, can I talk to you for a sec?" They were in the halls, the others were gone ahead. He needed to talk about this now.

"Speak away, oh mighty Merlin." Merlin laughed.

"Look, I get that all Kilgharrah's been going on about the Sorcerer for years, but I'm still me."

"Oh I know that." There was something unsettling about the glint in his friend's eyes, but he ignored it.

"Anyway, listen. I noticed that the spliff you've been selling to Elena and Lance is-"

"Haze hemp?" He grinned. "Damn, I've been discovered." He put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "I know the Haze is a little bit of a... sensitive issue for you," his grin turned to the smallest of smirks, "With the whole Protector thing; but trust me, I'm not hurting anyone. El and Lance are just having a bit of fun. It's all harmless, believe me." Merlin found himself nodding. Cenred wouldn't hurt anyone. Cenred was his friend, he was a good guy.

"You... you wouldn't use it on me, right?"

"'Course not, mate. You're my friend, why would I do that? I'd never hurt you, Merlin" He was nodding again. His neck felt heavy. "Now, why don't you head to class, and I'll see you later. Alright?"

"Ok." Merlin turned to walk away.

"Oh, and Merlin?" He turned back to face Cenred. "You're not planning on telling Arthur, are you?"

"N- no."

"Good boy. Carry on."

Arthur's POV

"...Which is why I request that you come to my class next Monday..." Kilgharrah was droning on, his head bowed respectfully. While it was nice to be treated as he once was, the old man was annoying him. He was first to arrive in History and he prayed for more students to enter just to end the conversation. He was tired from a week of strenuous love-making (not that he was complaining). "Your powers are unparalleled, my lord. Even beyond Cenred's. It would also be a great help to Merlin. I know he would appreciate your company." There was a slight pause while Arthur caught up mentally.

"Um, yes of course. I''l be there." The professor beamed.

"Excellent, my lord." As soon as the old man turned and walked to the front of the room, Merlin walked in with the crowd of other students.

"Hey there, sunshine." He saw the clouded look in Merlin's eyes. "What's wrong?" The haze in his lover's eyes cleared as it it was never there.

"Nothing nothing." Merlin's bright smile couldn't hide his confusion.


	19. Chapter 18: Pierce the Veil

**AN: Yes, it's short. But I like it. I like it a lot.**

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The room was smoking and Merlin had his ass pressed against Arthur's groin. With each pulsing beat he grinded closer and closer, Arthur's breath hot on his neck. The room swayed around them, the air ran hot and cold at once. He was losing himself in his lover's embrace when the voice called to him.

Arthur's POV

_Today is a good day_. Arthur woke up to the sound of birds singing and the feel of soft lips on his cock. They had sausages for breakfast and his mates where all enthusing about the big planned night. Cenred didn't bother him, he did well in his latin exam, and his father as away this weekend. Merlin would definitely be staying the night. _A very good day_.

"I'll see you tonight," he murmured into Merlin's shoulder. His driver was waiting at the gate and while he was keen to get out of school, he didn't want to leave Merlin alone. The raven-haired boy held him tight, obviously he didn't want Arthur to leave either. Unfortunately, time was of the essence. He hugged his lover one last time and climbed into the car to see his sister again

Merlin's POV

_Merlin. Merlin. Merrrrliiiiiin._

_No, no. Not now, please no._

Arthur's POV

"You're awfully quiet, Edmund."

"Edmund?"

"Went so far into the closet he found Narnia."

"Haha, very funny."

"I am aware of how hilarious I am, but thank you for reminding me."

"Fuck off."

"Is that anyway to thank me for getting you on the list for the Veil?"

"No, I guess not." He bowed head slightly. "Sorry." Morgana looked mildly shocked.

"I'm sorry, but did Arthur Pendragon just apologise for something? I am dreaming? Can you say it again, I need to record it."

"Ah piss off."

"Much better." She went into the kitchen and returned with stacked plate. "Now eat your waffles, there's a good boy."

"Waffles?"

"Because I love you, jerk."

"...Love you too."

"You're supposed to say 'bitch'."

"What?"

"Never mind."

Merlin's POV

_I know you can hear me, Merlin. Merrrliiiin._

Arthur's POV

"I miss you."

"I saw you 3 hours ago."

"What, I'm not allowed to miss you?" Merlin sighed.

"You'll be the death of me, Arthur."

"I should hope not. I plan on us both living long happy lives this time around." Faint talking could he heard in the background.

"Sorry, Will and Freya are bringing me shopping for tonight. I'll text you later."

"I love you, Merlin."

"I know."

Merlin's POV

_Come to me, Merlin. You know you want to, baby._

_Please no. Please._

Arthur's POV

"Man, the legs on that one!"

"Perc!"

"Ah, c'mon El. Nothing wrong with appreciating."

"Alright, as long as you don't mind," she turned towards the bar, "I'm going to go appreciate that guy over there."

"Get us some free drinks, will you Bonnie?"

"Of course, Clyde."

"Go get em, babe."

"You two are ridiculous."

"Can it, Val. Go find your fuckbuddy."

"Don't mind if I do. Hey Arthur, your friend's here. That Merlin one." He turned and beamed at the boy who was striding towards him. _And a good night too_.

Merlin's POV

_Come on, Merlin. Come on._

"Arthur," he croaked. His voice was weak, he could feel his legs aching to move against his will.

"What?"

"Arthur... haze... help-" Then he started to walk.

_That's it._

Arthur's POV

"How are you, gorgeous?" He ran his hand up Merlin's thigh.

"I am well, my lord."

"Oh I love it when you call me that."

"Don't let it get to your head, your Pratness."

"OI!"

"What are you going to do?" Merlin's hand wandered under Arthur's shirt. "Make me polish your armor?"

"I just might."

"I'd like to see you try."

Merlin's POV

"Merlin? Merlin!" Arthur was trying to shout over the music, but the voice was so much louder.

_That's it, Merlin, come here. Good boy._

"Arthur please." Everything hurt.

"Merlin! **Merlin**!"

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**AN: We're approaching the end, guys. Your support is much appreciated. *Hugs you through screen* I love you all **

**(no homo)**


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